Pimpin Our Friends: James Cheetham

Once again, I totally spaced something I was going to do. On the last Splattercast, we mentioned author, and friend of the show, James Cheetham. Well here are all the links I was going to post. First, here is Mr. Cheetham’s official site and second is his blog devoted to zombie-ing out photos of people. I think he mentioned he was going to zombify all of us at Deadlantern…now if we can just get off our asses and send him some photos :)

Running Commentary Review #4: Gothic Vampires From Hell

This looks to be another Netflix instant viewing classic! Here’s their synopsis:

Industrial metal band Gothic Vampires from Hell is just starting out in the business. In their quest for a recording contract, they encounter Annastasia and Jasmine , the mysterious owners of Gotham Records. For the band, vampirism is a persona; for these two seductive beauties, it’s a way of life! The film’s soundtrack throbs with the biggest names in Goth music, including New Skin, Fear Cult and Razed in Black.

Sweet! I have no idea who any of those bands are, but I’m sure they are going to play some killer tunes! And away we go…

O min: Dude…the opening is all in terrible CG, skeletons dancing (!), and the title of the movie is actually Gothic Vampires From Hell: Battle of the Bands. I can’t wait!

2 min: Oh. My. God. There is going to be no way I can convey how ridiculous these actors look.

5 min: “Pretty good isn’t going to win the battle of the bands! I’d sell my soul to make it happen!” (oh, and the dude whose neck was just spewing gore…you could totally see the tube)

10 min: Edgar’s Ravens. That’s one of the band names. I’m serious.

15min: This movie is like a Marilyn Manson video as shot by 12 year olds. At least most of the girls are pretty hot, so it has that going for it.

17min: Jiggly boobs!

24 min: Vampire attack. I’m at a complete loss for words. This movie has to be seen to be believed.

30 min: ok. There are plenty of hot-to-partially hot women in this movie. None of them are getting naked and I don’t know why. The only nudity so far has been intercut footage of what looks like an actual goth bar of a fat chick getting spanked by a fat guy. It also looks like the director edited this turd with windows moviemaker as all of the music video cut scenes have retarded filters on them.

34 min: oh that’s just bullshit! sex scene, girl takes off her bra, cut away before we see her tits…Here comes another sex scene (intercut with shots from Nosferatu..what the hell?!) with the main vampiress…she doesn’t drop her top either. Unbelievable.

40 min: There hasn’t been a cymbal crash in this song, but the drummer is going wild on them! The plot has just been revealed. The vampiress and her two minions want to turn the lead singer of Gothic Vampires From Hell into their new Vampire master because he has a dreamy voice

45 min: wait, what? Out of nowhere, there is a nude CGI woman, engulfed in flames, dancing on the screen as a vampire chick licks her fangs seductively…i’m interested to see where this leads…

46 min: Oh GOD NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

48 min:MY EEEEYYYYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

50 min: *MaT weeps in a corner*

55 min: So you know how I was saying that none of the hot girls were getting naked in this movie? Well in walks this fat goth chick and her 80 pound pair of titties. Off comes the top, cue nasty groping and MaT vomiting. Oh that’s not all, the hideous goth monstrosity then spreads her legs and starts rubbing herself before being eaten by the skinny one.

63 min: Did I mention that the screaming in this movie is dubbed with one of those electronic Halloween toys that you press a button on?

68 min: I don’t know how to describe what I just witnessed.  Speed cutting combined with CG blood bubbles…oh wait, they just found the “Old Master” in his pink coffin…gotta go!

71 min: Oh snap! She just went Mola Ram on that bitches heart!

75 min: To sum up, they won the battle of the bands and now the lead singer is the master vampire after double crossing the vampiress. And this movie wouldn’t be complete without ending on one last musical number, with a montage re-playing every death/blood/gore scene in the movie. That pads the running time, see? Oh..and the final shot is of the fat girl being whipped again.

Unbelievable.

Pimpin Our Friends: Joshua Hoffine’s latest creation- Isolation

A while back we posted a link to Joshua Hoffine’s killer horror photography. Well, he was kind enough to send us an e-mail letting us know he’s got a new photo up to inaugurate his brand spankin new website. Head on over to view the full size version of his newest creation: “Isolation”.

Good job, Josh!

p.s. You can also check out some “Making-Of” stuff right here.

Splattercast 89

Episode’s up.

As I was reading the comments in the previous post about a web-comic, a thought occurred to me: why not do a comic of A Ripper Runs Through It?

ARRTI is the little seen, yet legendary 1st film by Dead Lantern Pictures (known at that time as “gotta get this crap done for my Art project that is due on Monday”). It was shot over a weekend way back in 1999, when we were wee little tykes and after a single screening to a confused, and possibly mortified High School Art Instructor, it was seemingly lost forever. It’s our version of The Werewolf.

Time went by, with ARRTI seemingly lost to the ravages of time. Then, seemingly by an act of divine intervention, some “missing reels” (also known as VHS tapes) were discovered. They contained nearly all of the lost footage and behind the scenes mayhem that went into the making of the 15 minute tale of terror. The film was then meticulously pieced together from surviving materials and sent to Steve, who then reviewed the film for this website.

Since that time, ARRTI has never seen the light of day. Its lone appearance on the silver screen, shown to the guest list before the premiere of The Grand Horror, ended with a corrupt file computer crash 2 minutes into the movie. Will ARRTI ever be seen by anyone other than Steve? Only time will tell…

In the meantime, it could be mined for gold as a web-comic.

just an idea…The Grand Horror webcomic?

I’m just addicted to this ink sketch tool. I don’t know why but I find myself just dicking around with it. Jeff was mentioning that it would be cool to do some webcomic-esque short stories set within the TGH/OD “universe”. I like that idea. And since Whistling Past the Graveyard has once again gone into hibernation, it might be neat to screw around with some of the stuff we’ve already done. So here is a stream of consciousness brainstorming of some ideas that we could do. Leave us a comment if any of them sound interesting or if you have a different idea, we’d love to hear it.:

1. Create The Grand Horror comic book. Essentially what we’d do is turn the movie into comic form and post “issues” from time to time here on the site.

2. Make a totally new story using the existing bank of images/screenshots we have from TGH/OD/ZSF/EoF. I’d see this as more of an ongoing cartoon strip.

3. Let our readers and listeners make their own stories. I could post a generic bank of images and let you guys do whatever you want with them. We’d post the comic strips you guys and gals create here on the site.

4. Make an Outpost Doom comic.

5. Do absolutely nothing with any of this because it’s a stupid idea and MaT is geek for continuing to use this retarded Ink Sketch tool

Good, bad, don’t care? let us know what you think

Horror-Fu: The Boxer’s Omen

A big hat-tip to Space Coyote, who suggested some supernaturally-charged kung-fu movies for me to check out. I watched The Boxer’s Omen (1983) tonight and it was a lot of fun. It’s so wacky, so weird… it’s just very foreign. The sets and locations are amazing, so many bright colors everywhere, and there are a ton of gross-out special effects. Now, granted, it’s a little too long for its own good and it’s basically impossible to tell what’s going on, but it’s still a very fun watch on a “Holy crap, this sh*t is whacked!” type of level.

I had a 40oz of High Life while I was watching it, so maybe that helped a little. Oh, and it’s got Bolo Yeung in it, who I recognized as “that guy from Bloodsport“, so that was cool.

Outpost Doom…the final weekend?

yes ladies and gentleman, the end is (hopefully) nigh.

After many long weekends of filming, we have reached the end of the line. Outpost Doom has just about finished principal photography (don’t we sound professional?). The film is just about in the can. Soon we can return to our normal, boring lives.

Of course, I say this and we’ll probably not get everything finished, but I feel like being dramatic. This weekend we have a bunch of scenes to do, but only about 3 with dialog. The rest is just FX stuff and pickup shots.  We’ve been editing as we go along and we’ve got over a third of it in rough cut form. I plan on getting the rough cut finished before school starts in a few weeks. From there, we’re going to force Deejay down for a few more weekends so we can work on all of the music and sound fx. That should be fun. With any luck, the entire thing will be done by the end of this year. Imagine that; not having to wait 2 years to see it as was the case with TGH!

So here is hoping that nothing stupid happens this weekend and we can finish the damn thing. We want to thank everyone who has shown support and interest. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised with the improvement in quality over TGH.

Stay tuned for more goodies from Outpost Doom (where’s that teaser trailer at?…)