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That evil, vile Osiris, Christian subverter

I arrived to my Geography class last night and sitting next to me was a girl reading Are Roman Catholics Christians? by the douchebags at Chick Publications. I absolutey love reading these because they are so damn hilarious. My absolute favorite is Happy Halloween, in which little Timmy is run over by a car and sent to hell because he likes the greatest holiday ever. The scary thing was this girl in class was totally into it and believed what these morons are saying. Actually, strike that. She’s right. I can’t believe the fine folks at Chick have discovered the conspiracy! Osiris has worked so hard to keep this charade going for thousands of years!

Joe Biden eats Osiris!

Sigh…Tell you what, Christians. When you stop your “War on Halloween”, we secular motherf*ckers will give up our “War on Christmas”, deal? ;)

10 Comments

  • tina fontaine
    Posted October 31, 2008 at 1:34 pm | Permalink

    there’s a large percentage of us “christians” that fully embrace Halloween, you know. >:(

  • Posted October 31, 2008 at 1:42 pm | Permalink

    there’s a large percentage of us “secularists” that fully embrace Christmas, you know. >:(

  • Posted October 31, 2008 at 2:15 pm | Permalink

    Calm down you two…though i do agree with MaT, those ‘Chick’ books are hilarious…actually, they make me so mad, it liquefies my fuckin’ shit. Anyway, Tina’s right. Most christians love Halloween. It’s just that small number of Evangelical fucks who think its the devils day who hate it. True enough, it’s largely based off pagan believes, which by evagelic standards (and to a point, christian standards) makes it the product of the devil. But then again, were do they think the fuckin’ Christmas Tree comes from? ;) Joe Everyman (or Jane Everywoman ) christians by in large love Halloween. Remember that christianity is the major religion in the country, which means almost every kid who goes trick or treating is christian. So saying “Tell you what, Christians. When you stop your “War on Halloween”, we secular motherfuckers will give up our “War on Christmas” really isn’t fair. It should be to tell the evagelical fucks to back off halloween. That said, i’ll go on record saying that i think any believe system in which one human prays or believes in some invisible supernatural being is a waste of time. And while i enjoy Halloween, it is about has pointless has christmas.

  • tina fontaine
    Posted October 31, 2008 at 2:22 pm | Permalink

    *rolls her eyes*

  • Posted October 31, 2008 at 3:24 pm | Permalink

    HALLOWEEN IS THE GREATEST!

    hands down!

  • Posted October 31, 2008 at 11:14 pm | Permalink

    Lets forget that Horus was one of MANY archetypes for Jesus and that the Egyptians founded pretty much all of our arts and sciences.

  • MaT
    Posted October 31, 2008 at 11:48 pm | Permalink

    Mystery Cult!

  • belle dee
    Posted November 4, 2008 at 12:24 pm | Permalink


    Why does Satan need a chainsaw? *oops* Plot spoiler, that’s the devil under that pumpkin mask.

    I love the Chick tracks. I recently got a chance to read, ‘There go the Dinosaurs’ and found it very educational. Apparently, there were dinosaurs on the ark with Noah. Haw! Haw!

    I’m so pleased you can read all of those wildly imaginative stories on their website.

  • belle dee
    Posted November 4, 2008 at 12:25 pm | Permalink

    I had a picture of Satan dressed up for Halloween, grumbling about not having a chainsaw to murder teenagers.

  • Posted August 17, 2010 at 3:07 am | Permalink

    hi, really enjoyed this article! Very well thought out.

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