Do you ever have this problem? You’re watching a film that’s outside of the mainstream – maybe it’s really gory, maybe there’s some explicit sex, that sort of thing – and then someone who’s not as into movies catches you watching it and you have to explain yourself to that person. I’m not talking about getting caught watching a porno with your pants around your ankles; I’m talking about legitimate films that contain, for lack of a better word, “extreme” content.

For example, a few years ago I had rented Gaspar Noé’s Irreversible from Netflix and was watching it in the living room of my apartment. My wife had gone out on the town with a friend. The ladies returned right as the Monica Bellucci rape scene was unfolding. Now, that’s an incredibly trying sequence for even a “seen-it-all” guy like me to endure. Imagine walking into your living room, with no context, and seeing that on your TV screen! I can’t remember exactly how the conversation went. I certainly didn’t get “in trouble” or anything, but I had to explain what the movie was about and what was going on in this particular scene.

In addition to explaining what I was watching, I’m sure I was asked, “Why are you watching this?” I don’t recall how I answered that, and I don’t know how I would answer that question right now, either. The answer is sort of, “Just because.”

I understand how it happens. You’re into horror films, you watch every Friday the 13th, jump over to harsher fare like Hellraiser, move on to the even less restrained Fulci stuff, dip your toe into the cannibal pool, somewhere you find a list of “The 10 Most Disturbing Films Ever” and, for whatever reason, you just want to see those movies. Maybe it’s a challenge of endurance. Maybe it’s simple, morbid curiosity. You find an uncut version of Men Behind The Sun and give it a look.

You feel a little weird afterwards.

I guess I’m trying to explain that I myself, inside my own head, don’t quite know why I want to watch some of these movies. So, trying to explain it to someone else, especially someone who’s not into fringe genre stuff at all, becomes very difficult. I end up sitting there with a stupid, “Duh…” look on my face.

Sometime this weekend, I need to watch Salò for the next Splattercast. I’ll probably do it late at night, after my wife and daughter have gone to sleep, or maybe they’ll go run errands or visit family so they’ll be out of the house for a while. I’m fortunate that I have my own sort of “lair” in the basement of my house now, so I’ve got a bit of a physical separation. Enough time to hit “stop” on the DVD player if I hear footsteps coming down the stairs.

I mean, really, how would you even begin to explain Salò to someone who walked into the room as you were watching it, someone who didn’t already know what Salò was? One of my really lame explanations is, “It’s got a Criterion edition, it’s considered to be an important film!” As if that makes it ok for me to watch it? Mat also pointed out that Criterion did an edition of Armageddon, so I may need to rethink this “it’s valid because Criterion released it” defense that I’ve employed.

I am glad that I still have the capacity to be disgusted by these films (including Armageddon, nyuk nyuk). I am glad that I’ve never really gone over to liking these films, in the sense that I don’t count them among my favorite movies. I don’t ever want to watch one for fun. In terms of entertainment, just enjoying a movie, I’d much rather watch Elm Street 3 or The Monster Squad or An American Werewolf in London, or some classy older film that Mat recommends. You know, not insane weirdo stuff. If someone told me, with a straight face, that Salò was their favorite film, I don’t know what I would think but I’d probably be making some sort of judgment call about that person in my private mind.

Then there are things like Martyrs, which is harrowing and disturbing but also compelling and, yes, entertaining. That’s a film that really throws my sensibilities for a loop. Maybe I’d put Cerdá’s Aftermath in this same category? And I haven’t seen it yet, but maybe von Trier’s Antichrist will be another?

I don’t know, I’m losing my train of thought. Let me wrap it up. To you guys, here are the questions: How do you react when someone catches you watching a film with extreme content? How would you explain yourself? Have you ever meditated about why you might choose to watch one of these films? Post your answers in the comments, or send me an e-mail – jeff@deadlantern.com – and we’ll read your responses on the next Splattercast as we talk about Salò.

Filed under: Commentary, Movies