Vampires tonight

Nosferatu-Shadow Tonight’s Splattercast will be all about vampires with our special guest Ali. We’re covering a wide range of vamp flicks but I’m not sure we have any discussion topics set in stone yet.

If any of you have a particular question or topic about vampires that you’d like to hear us discuss tonight, either reply to this post or send us an e-mail at splattercast@deadlantern.com

thanks!

Great movies on tonight

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Turner Classic Movies is the bee’s knees when it comes to movie channels. There is more great stuff on TCM than every other channel combined. Plus, uncut and no commercials.

I wanted to draw your attention to some great programming this evening. Anthony Hopkins is the guest programmer and he’s chosen a great lineup: The Lady From Shanghai by Orson Welles, The Grapes of Wrath by John Ford, Rear Window by Hitch, and one of my personal all-time favorite films, The Treasure of the Sierra Madre by John Huston.

Four classic films, back to back. If you’ve never seen Treasure, be sure to catch it tonight. You won’t regret it.

Review: Splatter

Netflix-RogerCorman-Splatter-2009 A while back, Jackie posted a blog about the new web series Splatter that  was streaming on Netflix. I decided to check it out tonight. It’s got great credentials, on the face of it. Produced by the legendary Roger Corman, written by legendary Richard Matheson, and directed by semi-legendary Joe Dante and starring Tony Todd and Edgar Frog. Seems like a fun win-win situation.

Until you watch it.

Splatter is probably one of the worst things I’ve seen all year. Corey Feldman plays Jonny Splatter, a famous rock star who kills himself on camera. He has invited a bunch of his enemies (including his manager, his shrink, bandmembers, mistresses, etc.) to his mansion for a final goodbye, a reading of his will. Popping up on a television behind his casket, he tells each character either what they aren’t getting or where they should look to find whatever it is he is leaving them with. One by one, the greed of the characters leads them to find their gifts only to instead find a zombified Feldman cracking awful one-liners before he unimaginatively dispatches each rival in various ways.  I mean, it’s really cookie-cutter bullshit. For one death, he pulls out a groupies heart because she metaphorically “tore out” his. It doesn’t take long for Tony Todd to chop off some body parts and speak some mumbo jumbo and force Feldman into a resurrection of his career…albeit at a 5% commission. The end.

I know Corman is established as making low budget dreck. But the thing that made Corman great was not that he made low budget crap, it’s that he made low budget crap good. Here, there is no attempt whatsoever to hide the fact that there is no money involved. It’s cheap bad, not cheap good. Joe Dante, probably due to some loyalty debt to Corman, completely phones it in as a director. It looks ugly and he does absolutely nothing creatively. But the person who comes out of this worst of all is Richard Matheson. People tell me this guy is a genius but man, I can’t imagine even the most die hard of Matheson fans being able to defend some of the dialogue and story decisions here. It literally seems like he wrote this in about three minutes, presumably with a gun to his head. Yeesh.

This is under half an hour so if you’re really curious to see a train wreck, go ahead and view it here. Nobody comes out of this one unscathed and it’s only notable for being such an epic failure even though there is a lot of talent floating around. Or maybe “talent” is a word that doesn’t apply to anybody involved in this anymore. Dante, Matheson, Corman…none of them have really done anything that warrants horror fans purposely seeking out their material in a long time. It’s out of respect for the past and nostalgia for the great things they did that we watch their garbage now, more  than anything. It’s weird to think that there is an entire generation of horror fans that weren’t even alive when these guys were defining the genre. It’s unfortunate that this is the kind of introduction they are relegated to in the 21st century.

Happy Thanksgiving!

My internet access will be sketchy over the holiday weekend, so let me wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving before I leave town. I’m definitely thankful that people are still visiting the site and listening to the Splattercast!

Eat me!

The Zombie Island of Dr. Ned for Borderlands

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If you are like me and love the hell out of Borderlands, and if you make sweet love to horror everyday of your life, then you will absolutely adore the first DLC pack: The Zombie Island of Dr. Ned.

I haven’t played a whole lot of it yet, but I’ve explored the world for awhile and it’s pretty much everything you could possibly want, visually, in a horror themed Borderlands expansion. It’s got creepy trees, an ominous moon, killer jack o’ lantern’s and of course, zombies. Lots of them. This is the kind of place a horror fan would love to visit in real life. DLC is 10 bucks and like I said, I haven’t played through much of it yet, so I don’t know how much content is actually in it (one thing to note is that you shouldn’t play this with a high level character because it’s way too easy if you do), but it’s certainly worth it so far.

What’s cooler than a zombie throwing an explosive barrel into the side of your head when you’re not looking?