Monday Morning Music on a Sunday Evening

Splatcademy Award voting has officially closed. If you were waiting until 11:59 pm Central Time to get your votes in, well, tough. It’s March 1st in the Atlantic Ocean somewhere.

Now comes the grind: editing this massive behemoth of a show over the next week. Good grief. Hopefully it will be all you ever asked for in life.

One more thing, I won’t be editing the Joe Bob segment until the very end, probably next weekend, so we still encourage you to leave a voicemail comment for Joe Bob. It could be as simple as “Hey, this is x and I love Joe Bob!”, or you can give some thoughts and memories of Monstervision or whatever. Say hi to Joe Bob: 206-350-9636

We’ve also got some acceptance speeches that I think a lot of you will find pretty cool…

A Nightmare on Meh Street

A new trailer for the ANOES remake is out. It’s about two and a half minutes long, so it gives a decent amount of content for you to justify whether or not this will be worth a theater viewing.

It looks…really plain and ordinary to me. It looks like everything has been recycled, only this time with a bunch of generic “teen” actors. The footage of the death setups; the “classic” kills that are being remade; seems utterly uninspiring to me.

Oh, and I know everybody likes Jackie Earl Haley. He was phenomenal as Rorschach and I’ve been trying to give him the benefit of the doubt even as mounting evidence piles up that he’s going to suck as Freddy. I’m just going to say it: I hate the voice.  When he delivers that “I haven’t even cut you yet” line, I just cringed. Even his body language seems out of whack. It feels like his movements seem too robotic; telegraphed for “scariness”; instead of the more organic movements of Robert Englund.

If Freddy is not good, it’s game over. Freddy is not Leatherface, Michael Myers, or Jason. He’s not just a mindless killing machine with no personality. He’s an actual person. A pissed off person who brings cockiness, swagger, and fun to his role as a killer. He’s also not only a horror icon, but a cultural icon as well. Freddy Krueger is probably more popular and well known to the general public than the other three combined. And that’s because of Robert Englund and the charisma and all around awesomeness that he brought to the role. There’s a reason why the American Film Institute recognizes Freddy as one of the top 50 cinema villains of all-time. Think about that for a minute. Freddy Krueger has been honored as one of the greatest villains in the history of all cinema. Sure, horror fans take the character for granted, but there is a larger picture to the character that most people don’t even contemplate. You can always argue with lists, but just the fact that he made it on there is a testament to the power and impact that this character has had culturally. AFI is infamous for treating horror as not even worthy of their time and energy. In other words, getting Freddy right is essential.

In that sense, Jackie Earle Haley has no shot at meeting expectations.  I certainly hope that what has been shown in the trailers isn’t representative of what’s in the final product. I’m rooting for Haley, really, I am. But I’m getting warning signs everywhere that this will be an utter trainwreck. It’ll look slick, just like every Platinum Dunes production, but I’m worried that the filmmakers are going to totally miss the tone, atmosphere, and “realness” that makes not only Freddy, but the Nightmare films in general, work.

And the real disappointment is that Robert Englund is here. He could have remade his own role and brought it back to the first couple of movies, when Krueger was still seen as “scary”. Hell, if the filmmakers insisted on altering his voice, then they could have done so. Krueger sounds way more guttural and hellish in the first film because of the voice filters Craven put on him. He sounds nothing like he does in the later films. At least if they went that route, we’d still have Englund, who knows how to make Krueger move; to make his character come alive. So if Haley misses as Krueger, it’ll be even more bitter knowing that the real Krueger could have made the remake something interesting.

Right now, this whole thing looks like a big misfire. I’m hoping I’m wrong. But damn if I just can’t be anything but skeptical about what I’ve seen of Haley so far. What do you guys think?

There are only 4 days left until voting officially closes!

If you haven’t done so, be sure to let your voice be heard.

And leave a message for Joe Bob Briggs: 206-350-9636

This year’s award ceremony is not to be missed. Not even Rob Zombie himself could keep away from the sheer awesome power of the Splatcademy Awards. Be there. Or be trapezoid.

Hell hath no fury like a Twilight fan scorned

Hat-tip to Professor Bleak on the forum. Okay, so maybe a Twilight fan is the lowest of the low-hanging fruit – but I’m still going to laugh at this fan letter raging at The Wolfman.

To whom this may concern:

This movie was a complete waste and I feel that it offends ALL Twilight Fans around the world, that including myself. For one, it was a COMPLETE remaking of the Wolf Pack from the Twilight Saga: New Moon. It gives the werewolves a bad name and makes them look like some deformed mutation of a rabid dog. I actually started to like werewolves after seeing Jacob Black and all his awesomeness on the big screen at the movies. That was until I saw your crappy remake of what you call to be a “were wolf”. I don’t see how you live with yourself for making it the way you did. If I made this movie, I would be ashamed to even admit that I owned it. How can a werewolf be killed with a silver bullet? Better yet, have you saw the transformation of the man that is “supposed” to be the wolf? He sits in some chair and his entire body turns in to some mutated freak. If you would watch the transformation of Jacob Black, (Taylor Lautner) he doesn’t come close to looking as fake, cheap and or mutated as the wolf man.  You tell me, who looks to be the better werewolf. Your stupid Wolf Movie didn’t even make the top Movie for the charts; Valentines Day WITH TAYLOR Lautner! Get that this is MY oppinion and I felt I wanted to express it because I saw that your email was on your site. I wanted to let you know this is what i thought of the wolf man that sucks.

TEAM JACOB- cuz hes a REAL WEREWOLVE!

Regards:  Kayla P

Some schedule changes – don’t freak out on me :)

Hey everybody, Jeff here. I need to announce that, in the near future, the Splattercast is no longer going to be a weekly show. Please understand: We are not ending the show entirely, it just won’t be coming out every single week. The Third Annual Splatcademy Awards are still coming on March 8th and will be better than ever. We’re also still going to burn Swexas to the ground in a few weeks.

I’ll take all of the responsibility for this shake-up. I came to the other guys a while back and told them that I was getting burned out and needed a break. They were very understanding and agreed that it would be okay to switch things around a bit. For me, it’s all about a lack of time. It’s gotten more and more difficult for me to find the time to do all of the work that goes into a decent podcast, especially on a weekly basis. I hope to regroup and figure out a schedule that I can handle. I really do think the Splattercast is a damned fine show when we’re on our game.

In the meantime, I am very excited that we will soon be expanding our roster of podcasts. We’re adding at least two new shows and maybe even more down the road. Mat is heading up The Blackfoot Lounge, which will focus on slasher films of the 70s-80s, and Explodey Jo will be debuting a new show paying homage to the X-Files. I’m trying to get Steve & Deejay to do a relationship advice podcast as well, but we’ll see. I’m also kicking around an idea for a hentai and MTG podcast (just kidding! or am I?) All of these new shows will appear in the existing Splattercast RSS feed so it should be very easy for everyone to check out all of the new stuff without any extra hassle.

Thank you very much for continuing to visit us here at Dead Lantern! Oh, and a little plug for our forum – it’s been more active than ever over the past couple of weeks so check it out.