I love movies. Of all the Splattercast hosts, I probably watch the most in terms of sheer volume. I try to get to 50-60 flicks per month. Sometimes more, sometimes less, but to better prepare for next year’s Splatcademy Awards, I decided to start making a note of every film I watch, and this new segment sort of grew out of that. So below you’ll find every feature length film that I watched in January, in sequential order of viewing, along with some brief comments on each one.

The first half of the month was dominated mostly with flicks I was trying to catch up on in prep work for the Splatcademy Awards. The second half was getting back to the stuff I generally watch. I generally try to avoid crap so you’ll find a lot of good stuff as you go further into the list.

Titles in orange are flicks that are definitely worth looking at, titles in red are sort of “can’t-miss” flicks that should be at the top of your Netflix queue. Enjoy.

The Road (2009) d. John Hillcoat (Theater): Really disliked this critical darling. Absolutely despised the kid which then caused the entire foundation of the movie to crumble for me. Looks pretty, though.

Jennifer’s Body (2009) d. Karyn Kusama: Absolute garbage of a film. At some point, when we’re less swamped, Rachel from Zombiegrrlz and I will be having a friendly debate about the merits of this flick.

Jaws 2 (1978) d. Jeannot Szwarc: Chatted about this on Splattercast 167. It sucks.

Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation (2008) d. Mark Hartley: Excellent documentary. Goes a little too fast, but a great overview of the seldom looked at subset of Australian exploitation.

Patrick (1978) d. Richard Franklin: A good companion piece to the documentary. A fun film that runs a little too long in the tooth.

Be Kind Rewind (2009) d. Michel Gondry: I’m always interested in seeing what Gondry is doing. This was sort of “meh”. A good concept that just goes nowhere. Mos Def sucks as an actor, so that doesn’t help.

A Perfect Getaway (2009) d. David Twohy: The one thing this film did was make me wish I lived in Hawaii. Predictable with a decent twist, depending on how smart you are.

The Children (2008) d. Tom Shankland: Really dug this. It’s hard to make kids appear menacing but Shankland really nailed it for the most part.

100 Feet (2008) d. Eric Red: Probably one of the most underseen horror films of last year. It’s a really fine ghost flick with an absolutely brutal kill in it. And hey, it’s not Asian!

The Resurrected (1992) d. Dan O’Bannon: Caught this after our show dedicated to Dan O’Bannon. It’s okay. Nothing to write home about but it does give off a nice Lovecraft flavor. Some good makeup, as well.

Last Tango in Paris (1972) d. Bernardo Bertolucci: It’s famous, but not all that interesting to me. Watching Marlon Brando butter up Maria Schneider’s ass just isn’t appealing. Maybe in ’72, but this is one of those films that people think they have to like just because it’s Bertolucci.

The Hound of the Baskervilles (1959) d. Terence Fisher: Hammer does Holmes in full color! Peter Cushing is brilliant as the Detective (even though he gets precious little screen time in the middle), it’s got Christopher Lee’s stoicism and some really excellent cinematography.

Repo: The Genetic Opera (2008) d. Darren Lynn Bousman: The music is horrible. And you have to sit through 90 minutes of it. ‘Nuff said.

The Happening (2008) d. M. Night Shyamalan: Ever since Shamalamadingdong was exposed as the one trick gimmick that he is, his career has been in utter freefall with one crappy film after another. This flick is a total insult to the intelligence of anyone who watches it. Possibly the worst thing I watched all month.

Schoolgirls in Chains (1973) d. Donald M. Jones: Surprisingly decent 70′s sleaze. Has some really uncomfortable stuff in it, such as a woman enjoying her rape at the hands of her attacker (well, at least the score seems to emphasize that) and a story of two brothers trying to please their mother by kidnapping women. If you like this kind of exploitation, this one’s worth a look.

Doomsday (2008) d. Neil Marshall: Bored out of my mind. And Rhona Mitra’s collagen enhanced lips are disgusting

Tyson (2008) d. James Toback: Fascinating film shot entirely from the perspective of Tyson as narrator. Makes you feel sympathetic for the guy, if you can believe that.

The Haunted Strangler (1958) d. Robert Day: This, along with the next film on this list, are available via Criterion. Both star Karloff and in this one he is trying to prove that the law executed the wrong man whom they suspected of being a serial killer. Good film with a really nice performance by Karloff.

Corridors of Blood (1958) d. Robert Day: If you have to choose between this and Strangler, this should be your selection. Karloff plays a famous surgeon who specializes in amputations that is desperately trying to figure out the secret to anesthesia. Christopher Lee plays a nasty killer supplying the medical school with bodies. Just a top notch film all around. Plus, you get to see an early appearance of Yvonne Romain (Lee actually tries to rape her, like I said, a really villainous role from Lee, here) and see Karloff get stoned!

Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead (2009) d. Declan O’Brien: Ugh. A group of cons being transported to a new prison crash and end up trying to escape through the woods on foot. Turns out, a cannibal and his kid are around and they want to make some prisoner stew. Ugly film that has none of the charm of the first two entries.

Warlock (1989) d. Steve Miner: Steve and I slurped this movie on Episode 166. A total gem of a movie with a great performance from Julian Sands as the titular warlock.

Straight-Jacket (1964) d. William Castle: I love me some William Castle. Stick a bat shit crazy Joan Crawford into a script by Robert Bloch and throw in your typical Castle zaniness and you’ve got yourself a fun time.

Motel Hell (1980) d. Kevin Connor: A cult classic deserving of its reputation. Lots of good performances and some great atmosphere combine to make this a really enjoyable viewing experience. A really top notch combination of horror and humor. Plus, it’s got this scene.

Eagle Eye (2008) d. D.J. Caruso: Saw this was playing on HBO and remembered that the teaser trailers were interesting. Way different than what I expected. This film is about some weird secret government super computer that is trying to kill the President and everybody in line to succeed him. It’s not good.

BASEketball (1998) d. David Zucker: Another HBO thing, I’d never seen this movie but all my Splattercast co-horts seemed to love it. So I gave it a shot. And a shot is all it will ever get. That Robert Stack cameo, not that funny, by the way.

Ghoulies (1985) d. Luca Bercovici: I missed out on participating in the Ghoulies cast because Netflix screwed me over. But again, this was on HBO so I caught it after the fact. I’ve pretty much already forgotten it but I do remember consciously thinking to myself “I have no desire to ever watch the sequels”. And I won’t.

Outpost Doom (2008) d. Mathew Kister: Borp told me that he liked the movie. If a Swede enjoys something or gives it the stamp of approval, that’s pretty much an excuse to run as far away from what is being recommended as possible.

Daybreakers (2010) d. Michael and Peter Spierig (Theater): Solid. Nothing more, nothing less. I wouldn’t recommend paying full theater price for this but it’s good for a matinee on a Saturday afternoon. My non-horror enjoying girl liked it, so it has some broader appeal.

Carriers (2009) d. Alex and David Pastor: Liked it quite a bit. It’s a slow burn but has some really outstanding performances. About a viral outbreak that has killed most of the world and a small group trying to make their way to the ocean. It’s like a good version of The Road. There are a few moments you’ll really need to suspend your disbelief for, though, in order for the story to keep moving.

Warlock II: The Armageddon (1993) d. Anthony Hickox: I enjoy it, but it’s a huge letdown from the first. Watchable if nothing else than for another good performance by Julian Sands and lots more blood and gore than the first.

Warlock III: The End of Innocence (1999) d. Eric Freiser: Bruce Payne does an admirable job stepping into the role Julian Sands left behind. But again, the series by this point is on a noticeable decline.

Career Opportunities (1991) d. Bryan Gordon: I really enjoyed Jennifer Connelly’s breasts. And that’s all I enjoyed.

Brides of Dracula (1960) d. Terence Fisher: The sequel to Hammer’s seminal Horror of Dracula, this one finds Van Helsing (played by venerable Peter Cushing) battling the vampiric Baron Meinster and the various women he turns into his “brides”. Without Christopher Lee, this film just doesn’t hold the appeal. Cushing tries his best, but the Baron Meinster character just sucks (no pun intended). I know some people who really dig this film, I’m not one of them.

Night Creatures (1962) d. Peter Graham Scott: also known as Captain Clegg, this is a fantastic pseudo-horror film that stars Cushing in a really different role from that which you are used to. 1o years after the brutal pirate Captain Clegg was executed, the British army comes to a small town led by a reverend (Cushing) investigating claims of bootlegging. While on the island, they become embroiled in the  mystery of the Marsh Phantoms, spirits that murder town locals. A great cast including Oliver Reed and Yvonne Romain add to the film considerably.

D.O.A. (1950) d. Rudolph Maté: Film noir about a man who has been poisoned and goes on a frantic race against the clock to find his killer before it’s too late. The film is probably most famous for its dramatic narrative of making it clear up front that the main character is, indeed, “dead”, as the poison is terminal. Excellent fast paced dialogue and gorgeous lighting help make this a standout noir.

Sick Girl (2007) d. Eben McGarr: If I saw a bunch of people burning this movie in a trash can, I wouldn’t try and stop them. This was the last flick I saw in preparation for the Splatcademy Award’s because a few different sites had this listed in their top 10 of the year. I’ll never listen and/or visit those podcasts or sites again.

Shutter (2004) d. Banjong Pisanthanakun and Parkpoom Wongpoom: wanted to revisit this because Horrorphilia had it in a few of their “all-decade” lists. Once again, it’s an Asian ghost film that has a couple cool moments lost in an ocean’s worth of nothingness. The concept is a good one, but the ghosts themselves were pretty hokey. I did like the last few shots with the girl sitting on the shoulders, but one good moment doesn’t make a good film.

The Prowler (1981) d. Joseph Zito: This is a pretty well regarded slasher buoyed by the fact that Savini, who did the fx, thinks of it as some of his greatest work. No offense to Mr. Savini, but I’d disagree. I don’t hate the film, but I don’t think it’s especially deserving of its status, either. The killer looks cool and I dig the pitchfork shower scene.

Jaws 3 (1983) d. Joe Alves: No.

Jaws: The Revenge (1987) d. Joseph Sargent: No.

Village of the Damned (1995) d. John Carpenter: I wanted to revisit what most people consider the beginning of the end of John Carpenter’s career. This is such a bad movie. It’s so indefensible. I have a theory that Carpenter’s demise began when he got really lazy with casting. Pretty much all of his subsequent movies after In the Mouth of Madness had actors that either were either miscast (James Woods in Vampires) or just sucked in the role (everyone in Ghosts of Mars). Christopher Reeve and Kirstie Alley set back the acting profession fifty years with their performances but Carpenter’s first mistake was trying to remake a near flawless film to begin with.

Clash of the Titans (1981) d. Desmond Davis: Speaking of near flawless films soon to be remade! Now that I’m in full geek out mode for the new Titans remake, I couldn’t not go back and watch the original. It’s glorious awesomeness. Harryhausen is art in motion, literally. If only we could erect a stop-motion statue in his honor.

Lightning Bug (2004) d. Robert Hall: Awesome flick currently on Netflix Instant. Tells the story of a young horror fx artist stuck in his super religious southern town (the locals don’t approve of his trade) with his white trash mother (Ashley Laurence) and his attempts to escape. Robert Hall recently did the overrated Laid to Rest, but this one is really mature stuff and really shows that he can handle better material. I recommend this one.

White Zombie (1932) d. Victor Halperin: Famous for being Hollywood’s “first zombie movie” even though it was an independent picture made with no money (but it did get to shoot on Universal lots, so there you go). I’ve got to be honest, it’s pretty overrated as a film. Bela Lugosi does a good job in his role as a villainous voodoo practitioner that has filled his sugar mill with zombies. Still, it gets its reputation from the fact that it was the “first” zombie film and all the adoration, warranted or unwarranted,  that comes with it. It’s worth a look for historical purposes, but just be warned that it isn’t very good and certainly doesn’t hold up well on repeat viewings.

Little Shop of Horrors (1960) d. Roger Corman: Corman is one of the most underrated horror directors of all time. Everyone knows him as producer extraordinaire, but whether it was his fabulous Poe collaborations with Vincent Price or his no-budget output like A Bucket of Blood, Corman was able to make the best of the worst situations. Most people are most familiar with this property because of the 80′s remake starring Rick Moranis, but nothing beats the sheer power of the original. Whether it’s Dick Miller eating flowers or detectives gruffly talking about horrible events in their lives, this is just a brilliant example of comedy and horror coming together.

The Flesh and Blood Show (1972) d. Pete Walker: Watched this in prep for Splattercast 168. This is a proto-slasher about a group of actors who are invited to a run down theater to practice and perform whilst being offed by a mysterious killer. Lots of naked ladies and elements that would become standard slasher fare make for an interesting and entertaining British romp.

The Wasp Woman (1959) d. Roger Corman: Story of a woman who decides to take an experimental wasp extract in order to turn around the failing profits of her cosmetics company. See, the wasp extract reverses the aging process. Sounds great and everything works fine, until she notices a nasty side effect: she turns into a wasp and kills anything that crosses her path. A fun film that is most noteworthy for how cheap and silly it all looks. The wasp costume is pretty ridiculous. An early example of a woman running her own company, which is interesting, especially for a 50′s film.

Isle of the Dead (1945) d. Mark Robson: Karloff is the greatest horror actor for a reason (with all due apologies to Mr. Lon Chaney). In this Val Lewton effort, Karloff plays a Greek general who becomes holed up on a small island when the plague appears. While waiting it out, some of the local island residents believe it is the work of a Vorvolakas, sent by the Greek god Hermes as punishment. Karloff’s devotion to science is put to the test as people begin dying around him. Fabulous, fabulous film with a cool premise and great performances.

Rear Window (1954) d. Alfred Hitchcock: I adore Rear Window to death. It’s one of my favorite films and I make it a point to revisit it every so often. There’s really nothing that needs to be said about this film other than watch it, and if you don’t like it, just stop watching films because you’re no longer allowed to.

Curse of the Werewolf (1961) d. Terence Fisher: I’m in love with Yvonne Romain’s breasts. Just sayin’. Another movie I just love to death, this is Hammer’s take on The Wolfman. This one is quite a bit different from the Universal picture and starts out with 20 minutes of just brutal viewing. From the degradation of a begger at the hands of the elites to the rape of the servant girl, this is one of Fisher’s most ugly and mean spirited films in terms of tone. But that’s what makes it brilliant. Oliver Reed stars as the titular werewolf. That alone should make you stick this to the top of your queue. And seriously, Yvonne Romain’s breasts are out of sight.

Hour of the Wolf (1968) d. Ingmar Bergman: Bergman’s only foray into our great genre is a surrealist nightmare of brilliance. Max von Sydow plays an artist that is slowly going insane and begins painting “demons”. His wife tries to cope with his madness but everything just starts to spiral out of control. Bergman is a Swedish treasure and anytime a master director decides to jump into the horror genre, it’s worth watching. This may be a bit inaccessible to some viewers but it’s a must watch for anybody who calls themselves a true fan of the horror genre.

Carnival of Souls (1962) d. Herk Harvey: The Criterion disc looks amazing. Herk Harvey is like the Michael Curtiz of horror. A hack director of insignificance  who suddenly makes something incredible (Casablanca) before vanishing into mediocrity again (only to be discovered years later by stuffy intellectuals who want to write papers about how awesome you really were, even though you weren’t). Sort of amazing that the film works so powerfully considering how poorly acted, constructed, and framed it is. It’s overvalued by most (much like Casablanca), but still a striking entry into the genre. And damn does that Criterion disc look amazing.

Frightmare (1974) d. Pete Walker: Continuing the Pete Walker prep. I read that this is often viewed as his “best” film. It’s about a crazy cannibal chick who is released from a mental institution that starts hacking people up again. Other than a really cool performance by Sheila Keith, I didn’t think it was anything special. Fairly boring, actually.

Made-Droid (2008) d. Naoyuki Tomomatsu: A Japanese sexploitation film that centers on two different stories. The first is an old man who is coming to grips with the “death” of his Maid Droid, the love of his life, due to her batteries dying. The second involves a cop hunting down a robotic dog that is raping women. Seriously. If you can get past the constant nudity and sex, there is a really interesting story and themes that are explored here. It even uses Asimov’s Laws of Robotics as the starting point. It’s sort of disappointing that this film had to be wrapped up in non-stop sex because, dare I say it, there is actually some thought provoking stuff going on here. Recommended if you can handle this kind of thing.

Laura (1944) d. Otto Preminger: Brilliantly acted noir about a cop investigating the death of Laura Hunt, who just so happened to take a shotgun blast to the face at close range (gotta love noir, right?). Vincent Price in a non-horror role is worth the price of admission alone. Preminger has a lot of really great stuff and this is one of his most accessible. Certainly recommended.

House of Whipcord (1974) d. Pete Walker: Story of a model who gets taken to a prison that is set up to punish women for their loose morals. Didn’t think it was horrible but nothing I’d ever watch again. Pretty ho-hum, run-of-the-mill woman’s prison flick.  The Shriek Show dvd print is truly awful in a lot of scenes. Pretty much anything that takes place in night is unwatchable as the frame is totally black. Full comments on Splattercast 168.

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