I didn’t see as much stuff as I wanted to this month. Bioshock 2 came out and the Splatcademy Awards work started. And I had the T-Virus for over a week, in which I would just randomly fall asleep all the time. What I lacked in time to watch feature lengths, I probably made up for with The Office and Spartacus: Blood and Sand. Easier to digest shorter TV entertainment than 2 hour movies sometimes.

Anyways, here’s what I watched in sequential order. Orange means worth your time, Red means essential viewing.

Rashomon (1950) d. Akira Kurosawa: This movie is brilliant. I don’t even need to comment on it. If you haven’t seen it, then you’re not a fan of film yet.

4D Man (1959) d. Irvin S. Yeaworth Jr.: Yeaworth’s directorial follow up to the seminal The Blob, this one is far less interesting. A scientist figures out the key to penetrating the hardest steel…by entering the 4^th dimension and passing through it! This is a decent flick but not all that special. Long and bloated, but with the standard 50’s non explicit sexual tension standard in most sci-fi films of the time.

Mark of the Vampire (1935) d. Tod Browning: A sound remake of Browning’s own silent film, London After Midnight. This is a stagey drama castrated by the newly implemented Hayes Code.  Bela Lugosi returns as a vampire with his vampiress daughter Luna. The film has an ending that even Lugosi hated. Interesting historically, but not as an entertaining film.

The Mask of Fu Manchu (1932) d. Charles Brabin: Karloff wants to kill all white men and rape their women. Myrna Loy plays his sex crazed sadist of a daughter. It’s got torture, sex, and violence. Everything you’d come to expect in a pre-code film. Worth viewing.

Death Becomes Her (1992) d. Robert Zemeckis: I love this movie. It’s just a glorified Tales from the Crypt episode but Meryl Streep, Goldie Hawn, and Bruce Willis are great in it. About two women who take a potion that reverses the ageing process only to find themselves fighting over Willis. Oh, and I can’t get enough of Louise Brook’s style bobbed cut. Short hair is where it’s at, ladies.

Nightmare (1964) d. Freddie Francis: Excellent film about a rich heiress being driven insane after witnessing her mother kill her father. The black and white photography is stellar and Francis proves again that he is one of the great underrated horror directors (note: be sure to check out his previous film, Paranoiac, starring Oliver Reed, which is one of my all-time faves). Jimmy Sangster, writer of most of the great Hammer films, delivers another special script that totally switches gears half-way through. Excellent stuff.

The Phantom of the Opera (1962) d. Terence Fisher: I’m not a big fan of the PotO movies, but I really like this one. It’s quickly paced and the acting is terrific. Michael Gough (Alfred from Burton’s Batman films, for you kids) is brilliant as the asshole Lord Ambrose D’Arcy. I also like how the Phantom is not motivated by love but rather pure revenge and hatred for what D’Arcy did to him. Absolutely worth a look.

Child’s Play 3 (1991) d. Jack Bender: I’m not going to apologize for liking this movie. No movie should ever be described as a “guilty pleasure” (Because if it pleases you, why feel guilty?) and I’ll say it again, I like this film. Chucky goes to the most incompetent military school in the country to find Andy and proceeds to murder everyone he sees. Bizarrely, the finale takes place at a carnival, but I like carnivals so suck it.

Doctor X (1932) d. Michael Curtiz: Four words: Fay. Wray. In. Color. This film is about a group of professors attempting to figure out which one is the Moon Killer, a cannibal that is murdering and eating people throughout the city. The direction is stodgy and staged like the play the film is based upon (Curtiz would later go on to make Casablanca) but the pre-code elements and the color make it worth a look even if it is a bit stilted. Plus, Fay Wray gets a hand buzzer to the crotch at the end of the film, and she likes it.

Red-Headed Woman (1932) d. Jack Conway: You’ve probably figured out by now that I’m really interested in pre-code Hollywood cinema. This one’s about Jean Harlow sleeping her way around town in an attempt to gain social status. Of course, this was socially unacceptable at the time but that didn’t stop pre-code cinema from tackling such issues. There’s a famous scene here where Harlow gets smacked in the face by her lover only to come back and beg for more because she likes it. Worth a look.

Werewolf of London (1935) d. Stuart Walker:  Notable for being the first Hollywood werewolf flick. Jack Pierce’s first attempt at a werewolf makeup looks really good and properly beastlike. There is a magical scene where the camera tracks along with Hull as he transforms into the werewolf that is a must see. If you are a student of horror, then you sort of have to see this.

Waterloo Bridge (1931) d. James Whale: Whale made this right before Frankenstein. Mae Clarke stars as a prostitute who falls for a young military officer from a wealthy family. She refuses his advances because of her profession (which he doesn’t know about). The love story culminates in a climax on the Waterloo Bridge during an air raid by German zeppelins and a famous ending. Excellent movie.

Bad Biology (2008) d. Frank Henenlotter: I had high hopes for this but they were all dashed upon viewing. About a girl with seven clits who finds a guy with a two foot donkey dick with a mind of its own. It’s not funny or sexy.

Pandorum (2009) d. Christian Alvart: This was marketed as a new Event Horizon. It’s not. A couple dudes come out of hyper sleep to find a spaceship nearly empty with the exception of the cannibalistic monsters running around. Boring, slightly confusing, and visually uninteresting. Pass.

The Ox-Bow Incident (1943) d. William A. Wellman: “Wild Bill” Wellman is my third favorite director of all-time and I was in the mood for a great western. This is a can’t miss film starring Henry Fonda; about a posse that comes across three men who they suspect in the killing of a respected town citizen. The men claim they are innocent but the evidence points to the contrary. Meanwhile, the law is nowhere to be found. A brutally honest movie about man’s obsession with revenge and the lengths he’ll go to satiate it. Currently on Netflix instant.

My Best Fiend: Klaus Kinski (1999) d. Werner Herzog: This doc is Herzog narrating his experiences with the famous crazy German actor Klaus Kinski. He interviews various cast members and included clips from their collaborations to support Kinski’s genius. I liked it, but be warned that the only parts in English are when Herzog is talking or interviewing. All of the clips with Kinski, including a long 5 minute rant that opens the film, have no subtitles. Lots of funny anecdotes, though, including how a tribal chief came to Herzog offering to kill Kinski during a shoot. And Herzog admitting that, at the time, he regretted not taking the chieftain up on his offer.

Tank Girl (1995) d. Rachel Talalay: Had never seen this but always heard Deejay and Brady talking about it. It was on HBO and thought I’d give it a chance. I hated everything about it.

Frankenstein Unbound (1990) d. Roger Corman: Corman’s final film as director (as of now, anyway), this is a weird mashup of science fiction and horror. The premise: a scientist has created a new super weapon that has the nasty side effect of creating time slips. He’s sent into the past and must stop Frankenstein from creating a bride for his monster. This is pretty shitty. The monster looks terrible, the characters go nowhere, and the message of the film is muddled. Raul Julia, John Hurt, Bridget Fonda, and Michael Hutchence.

Penny Dreadful (2006) d. Richard Brandes: Caught this on IFC. It’s terrible. Absolutely terrible.

The Public Enemy (1931) d. William A. Wellman: A brilliant film. Cagney gives one of the great screen performances of all-time.

Gold Diggers of 1933 (1933) d. Mervyn LeRoy: Warren William is my favorite actor of all-time and he is on fire in this film about a group of chorus girls (including my crush, Joan Blondell) trying to put on a new show during the depression and the rich men they get involved with. Brilliant musical numbers and choreography by Busby Berkeley.

Altered States (1980) d. Ken Russell: Really enjoyed this. Full comments on Splattercast 169

The Incredible Hulk (2008) d. Louis Leterrier: Surprisingly fun sequel to Ang Lee’s 2003 misfire. Performances are better, the FX is better, and it’s just generally more exciting. Thought Abomination looked cool.

7 Faces of Dr. Lao (1964) d. George Pal: A really fun film about a carnival, run by Dr. Lao, and his merry band of historical and mythological attractions as they try to intervene and persuade the local townspeople to save their town from a baron who wants to buy it for a profit without telling them that the railroad is coming through in a year. It’s not incredibly funny, but it’s got a lot of charm to it and Tony Randall is great in all of the roles. Plus, stop motion Loch Ness Monster. Aces.

Bedlam (1946) d. Mark Robson: Brilliant. I rewatched this to get the Pete Walker taste out of my  mouth. Lewton flick that deals with much of the same subject matter that Walker did, only from the opposite perspective. Karloff plays the sadistic head of an insane asylum. Required viewing.

Saboteur (1942) d. Alfred Hitchcock: Hitch’s famous flick about homegrown terrorism. It’s a film that makes conservatives moist. It also happens to be great. I’ll meet you in Soda City.

Stacy (2001) d. Naoyuki Tomomatsu: Another stupid zombie movie. Watched this because I was interested in other stuff by Tomomatsu.

Dead End Drive-In (1986) d. Brian Trenchard-Smith: Really fun Aussie flick about a group of people stuck in a drive-in which is really a government run prison for rebellious youth. You come to the drive-in to get laid or see a movie, but you can’t ever leave. Fun, fun film. Recommended.

The Fall of the Roman Empire (1964) d. Anthony Mann: I don’t know what I was thinking, but I went on an Anthony Mann binge. The first of two back-to-back 3 hour sword and sandal epics. It takes a certain kind of person to sit through these kind of films. I’m one of them, and I still feel kicked in the balls after I’m through. Only recommended to S&S fiends, like myself.

El Cid (1961) d. Anthony Mann: Same thing. 3 hours of Charleton Heston. Only this time, instead of the interesting world of Rome, we have the totally uninteresting world of Spain. Mann makes the terrible mistake of casting Sophia Loren in both films. Let’s just say, she’s not known for her acting ability, yet she remains covered head to toe in each film. Maybe some cleavage would have livened things up. This film does have a spectacular ending, though. Getting there is a grind, however.

Sleepwalkers (1992) d. Mick Garris: No. Just, no.

Cat’s Eye (1985) d. Lewis Teague: Like this one a lot. A fun flick in the vein of EC Comics. Talked about Sleepwalkers and this on Splattercast #170

The Wolfman (2010) d. Joe Johnston (Theater): I’m a big supporter of this movie. It has character development problems, to be sure, but this delivered a really fun time with a really great movie monster. Apparently, I hate everything according to many of our listeners, but I don’t hate this movie. Go see it before it leaves the theaters. You’ll want to see it on a big screen.

Don’t Bother to Knock (1952) d. Roy Ward Baker: Marilyn Monroe stars as a batshit crazy babysitter. This was the film that was made to prove that she could “act”; that she was more than just a pair of great boobs with a bubbly personality. Does she succeed? Eh, she’s a little stiff in the role but she’s got moments of brilliance like the scene when she is about to push the little girl out of the window. She pulls off crazy very well. Roy Ward Baker should be known to all horror fans. He would go on to direct stuff like Quatermass and the Pit , The Vampire Lovers, and Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires.

The Crazies (1973) d. George Romero: An interesting failure. This is one of those films that has interesting concepts and ideas, but the execution is both flawed and it never lives up to its potential. It’s a film that could be done wonders with a good remake. Which is why I’m excited to see the new version.

Lo (2009) d. Travis Betz: Explodey Jo made me aware of this film a few months back with a post here on DL. It’s on Netflix Instant right now. It’s really good. About a dude who conjures a demon named Lo to find his girlfriend who has been dragged to hell by other demons. It has a unique presentation (for example, the “flashbacks” are done on a theater stage and acted very melodramatically). The main problem is that the twist is obvious from the very beginning, which makes all the talk of finding the girlfriend a bit anticlimactic. Still, worth a look for sure.

The Masque of the Red Death (1964) d. Roger Corman: This movie is, literally, perfect. The pinnacle of Corman’s Poe work. There is nothing I don’t like about this. Vincent Price gives, what I think, is his greatest performance. The final 20 minutes of this film are some of the finest you’ll ever see in the horror genre. If there is one film on this list that you have to see, it’s this one. I rewatch this at least three or four times a year. It’s that good.

Premature Burial (1962) d. Roger Corman: This is included on a great MGM Midnight Movie double bill DVD. Go buy it. This is not quite as good as Masque but is still rad as hell. Ray Milland plays a guy with a phobia of being buried alive. And he goes to great lengths to prevent that from happening. Great directing, great sets, and a bleak ending add up to an excellent experience.

The Maltese Falcon (1941) d. John Huston: Often cited as one of the greatest remakes of all-time. Bogart is such an electrifying screen presence. Obviously a must see for any film buff. I love noir.

Touch of Evil (1958) d. Orson Welles: As you can probably tell, I go through specific movie binges all the time. It happened to be noir during this phase of the month. This is a movie I just like to watch. It’s just so interestingly put together. The editing and lighting is so uniquely bizarre. I’m much less interested in the story aspect, which involves Welles framing an innocent man (and woman) and Heston’s drive to uncover the truth. If you like how movies are made, and that’s what interests you, you have to watch this.

I Wake Up Screaming (1941) d. H. Bruce Humberstone: I’d never seen this, but it happened to be on Netflix Instant and had a lot of things going for it. First, it was a noir. Second, it starred Vic Mature who is great. Thirdly, and totally coincidentally, the always wonderful Elisha Cook, Jr. has a main role (I didn’t plan this, but he seemed to appear in tons of movies I watched this month). Fourthly, Carole Landis. Yowza. As with most noirs, the plot is way too convoluted to try and explain, but I loved this flick.

House of Frankenstein (1944) d. Erle C. Kenton: An outstanding film is hampered by a totally unnecessary 20 minute sequence early on in the film involving Dracula. It feels totally forced (which it was by decree of Universal) and bogs down an otherwise quickly paced film. Karloff plays a mad scientist who enlists the services of The Wolfman to help him recreate and perfect the experiments of Dr. Frankenstein. Required viewing.

Starman (1984) d. John Carpenter: One of the greatest traits of John Carpenter is his ability to do great work in totally different genres. That’s a rare gift that I don’t think he gets enough credit for. This is a really good movie with a great performance by Jeff Bridges. And Karen Allen is cute as a button in this flick.

First Man Into Space (1959) d. Robert Day: A hot shot flyboy disobeys orders and pilots his spacecraft into space. He comes back as a disfigured monster that feeds on human blood. Robert Day also did the great Corridors of Blood. This one is billed as sci-fi but is really more horror. The monster fx look really great. Reminded me of something that would have come out of Seth Brundle’s telepods. It’s a little slow in the middle, but once the monster finally appears, it’s highly entertaining. Criterion has released this.

Orphan (2009) d. Jaume Collet-Serra: Isabelle Fuhrman puts in a great performance. Other than that, no. Just couldn’t get past the fact that every character was completely unlikeable and that the husband was the most retarded person on planet earth. Oh, and this movie could have been ten minutes long if the equally retarded kids had just said “Hey, she threatened to kill me and cut off my hairless pecker!”. Avoid.

Invaders of the Lost Gold (1982) d. Alan Birkinshaw: I don’t know why. Stop looking at me like that. I know I shouldn’t have watched it. It just happens sometimes, you know?

Crash (1996) d. David Cronenberg: I don’t think this is one of Cronenberg’s great films, but it’s certainly interesting and weird and a tad uncomfortable. I’ve heard the book is a lot more graphic than this and in reality, the film isn’t very graphic at all. Of course it stars James Spader. I bet James Spader has the most mundane sex life of anybody on the planet. He’s always in these weird kinky sexual deviant sort of flicks. You gotta watch this if you’re a Cronenberg completist.

Vampires in Havana (1985) d. Juan Padron: Very interesting. It’s an animated film out of Cuba about a vampire doctor who has created “Vampisun”, a drug that allows vampires to walk around during the day. He wants to give it away to all vampires but that doesn’t sit well with the capitalist vamps from American and Europe who don’t believe in giving anything away for free when a profit could be made. Some raunchy stuff here, including cartoon boobies and sex. It’s strange and worth a look since it’s not often you see an animated horror comedy from Cuba.

Red Sands (2009) d. Alex Turner: Alex Turner did Dead Birds, which I really liked. 5 years later, he returns to directing only to fall flat on his face. Red Sands is a really stupid commentary on the war in Afghanistan. About a group of soldiers who start getting picked off by the lamest Djinn you’ve ever seen. The moral of this story is: Djinn’s don’t like America, therefore they will body hop in order to get on a plane to America so that they can destroy it for its imperialistic designs. Fuck this movie.

Overnight (2003) d. Tony Montana and Mark Brian Smith: This is the documentary about Troy Duffy and all the problems he had with making Boondock Saints (which is a barometer movie for me, if you like BS, then well…i better just stop before I get into trouble). This documentary makes Duffy look like the biggest douche in the world. I couldn’t believe some of the stuff he said to these important people who gave him millions of dollars to make his film. And it’s all coming from his own mouth, so it’s hard to use the “bias” argument. His sense of entitlement is crazy. Funny, if you like to revel in the misery of others.

The Searchers (1956) d. John Ford: One of the great things about the ever expanding Netflix Instant library is that I can immediately watch a film that I don’t own on DVD and haven’t seen in a long time. This is one of them. Beautiful color western about John Wayne on a search to save a young girl who has been kidnapped by Indians. I have issues with the ending. One of the great westerns. Required viewing.

Hellblock 13 (1999) d. Paul Talbot: Very surprising anthology. Debbie Rochon plays a death row inmate who tells Gunnar Hansen stories that she’s written and wants published. It’s a Troma flick, but they actually take the material seriously. It’s hampered by a really low budget and the stories themselves aren’t original or interesting, but I was pleasantly surprised by what I saw. I can’t honestly recommend you run out and watch this, but if you really like anthologies, if that’s your thing, then maybe check this out some lazy Saturday afternoon.

Feast (2005) d. John Gulager: Re-watched this via IFC. Better than I remembered. It’s a fun monster flick. Disappointing that the sequels totally ruined what was potentially a really awesome property.

My Darling Clementine (1946) d. John Ford: Wyatt Earp (Henry Fonda) and his brothers head to Tombstone where they find Doc Holliday (played by the fucking awesome Vic Mature) and their ultimate confrontation with the Clanton’s at the famous O.K. Coral. Just a fantastic film. What really sets this apart is that it really focuses more on Holliday and you get many of the events from his perspective. For my money, the best adaptation of the famous events and battle in Tombstone.

Ran (1985) d. Akira Kurosawa: Breathtakingly epic. You can’t die without seeing Ran. It’s filmmaking as art in every sense of the word.

High Noon (1952) d. Fred Zinneman: Highly entertaining western that is more about people than it is gunfights. Gary Cooper plays a recently retired sheriff who comes back when he finds out that a notorious criminal is coming to town at high noon to kill him. The townspeople abandon him for various reasons, mainly out of fear, so it is up to Cooper to take on four gunmen. Lon Chaney, Jr. and Lloyd Bridges appear in cool roles. Grace Kelley is the gorgeous love interest. I don’t particularly like Cooper as an actor, but I really enjoy this story and how the film sets up the climactic finale.

Man of a Thousand Faces (1957) d. Joseph Pevney: Biography of Lon Chaney, Sr. starring James Cagney in the title role. It’s okay. Cagney gives a good performance and you get to see recreations of Chaney’s life including his Hunchback and Phantom roles. Like most Hollywood biographies, Chaney comes out looking great, as a devoted husband and father, when there is a lot of evidence that he was actually a total asshole who didn’t really care about Creighton and fully reveled in the perks that came with being a famous Hollywood actor. Worth a look, though with caution.

Dead Snow (2009) d. Tommy Wirkola: Yet another stupid zombie movie.

Notorious (2009) d. George Tillman Jr.: Biggie Smalls was a great guy. His only real sin was the occasional adulterous dalliance. 2Pac was a total dickhead who deserved it. That’s what I got out of this biography. Solid on the filmmaking aspect and buoyed by actual recordings of 2pac and the Notorious B.I.G. It’s just way too kind in its portrayal of Christopher Wallace. You can tell the family had “final cut” so to speak. But that chick who plays Lil’ Kim? Hot!

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994) d. Kim Henkel: I’d actually never seen this. It’s now in my top 10 of worst films ever made. This thing is just hideous. According to Vaughn at Motion Picture Massacre, there is an extended 10 minute cut that is the director’s preferred vision. 10 minutes of Scarlett Johansson having lesbian sex with Jessica Biel could not make this movie any better. An absolute travesty of a film.

January’s Watchlist

Filed under: Commentary, MaT's Stuff, Reviews, Shit I Missed, Watch Lists