Looks pretty funny…
Ali’s out with Strep Throat so we cobble together a random grab bag show to wrap up 2010. Enjoy, and have a safe and happy New Year! And a note from our forum to all of you:
Thank you to everyone who listens to us ramble nonsensically on the Splattercast each week.
Thank you to everyone who reads our blog and takes the time to comment (and to those who don’t!).
Thank you to everybody we’ve met at conventions, or struck up friendships with online, and all the forum participants (and the lurkers too!) and the fellow podcasters who have helped us learn and grow.
Super mega thanks to everyone that purchased a copy of Outpost Doom and/or The Grand Horror.
It means a whole lot and we are grateful to each and every one of you. We wish you all a safe and bountiful 2011 and hope you’ll continue visiting Dead Lantern.com!
– everyone at DeadLantern.com
It’s 90’s alternative music night in the Dead Lantern IRC. Enjoy Harvey Danger. And go watch Hitchcock’s Vertigo.
Oh, the horror.
One of the unique things about horror fans is the amount of pure unadulterated garbage that we put up with each year. There are probably more horror films put out every year than all other genres combined. From big Hollywood spectacles down to lowest no-budget indie film, the horror genre is popular precisely because it is so accessible. Anybody can make one. Grab some friends, pick up some corn syrup and food coloring, follow an established template and boom…you’ve got yourself a horror movie. Because of this ease of creation, there is so much bad in horror. It’s almost an impossibility to create a “definitive” worst list because, frankly, there are so many pieces of garbage out there that nobody can honestly say they’ve seen them all. Just a list of the 10 no-budget home videos that have been released in the past month would work.
But you expect those movies to suck, so in my mind, a true “worst of the year” listing has got to take into account other factors. Films with lots of hype. Films with high expectations that didn’t deliver. Big name franchises known for quality that were sullied by sequels. It’s easy to pile on some no name filmmaker who made a $500 shit film, but filmmakers who actually have the resources, actors, and clout; people we expect to make something decent; those films are truly worthy of a “worst film” label.
So, below are my top 10 worst horror films of the year. There were certainly worse films in a technical sense, but these were the films I felt to be total abject failures
Randomness from the IRC chatroom.
Somehow we started talking about Olivia Hussey’s boobs, which got us talking about Baz Luhrmann’s Romeo & Juliet, which got us talking about the soundtrack, which got me to post this Everclear song, which caused Prof. Bleak to express his dislike of the band.
some films: The Addams Family (1991), Addams Family Values (1993), Sleepy Hollow (1999), Bless the Child (2000), The Gathering (2002), Cursed (2005)
Dudes, I swear, I like Kevin Smith. I think Clerks is a riot and when SModcast came out, I was very impressed with how KS just seemed to instantly master the podcast format. I enjoy a lot of the guy’s output.
So, with that disclaimer out of the way, I have to say that this new trailer for his upcoming foray into horror looks just terrible. Seems like it’s going to be another grimy survivalist/torture flick with some psycho religious weirdos as the antagonists. I was talking about it in our IRC channel and I think KS is a phenomenal conversationalist but his writing sucks when he tries to have characters actually go do stuff. That’s why Clerks “works,” it’s just a bunch of conversations. His other movies are fun/funny when it’s just the dialogue, but when he gets into trying to convey some point or message via the characters’ actions… it’s a fail.
I dunno. This isn’t like me, I don’t typically grumble about stuff like this. Live and let live, y’know? I guess I just wanted to get in early and stake my claim on Red State sucking. Maybe that’s not so bold a position. What do you guys think? Are you KS fans, do you think KS can do horror?
- Rape. Lots of it. Whether it was A Serbian Film, Someone’s Knocking at the Door, Splice or I Spit on Your Grave, rape was all over horror this year. Can’t say I enjoyed this trend.
- Remakes and Sequels sucking, badly. Usually you can count on a few above average remakes and some decent sequels each year. This time around, almost all of them struck out, and struck out badly.
- The “Twilight-ification” of Horror Myth. I don’t believe this phenomenon actually exists. In fact, I think it was created by horror fans as a way to cope with what they perceived as a disappointing year. Fans needed something to direct their anger on. Blaming Twilight for all the ills of the world was their way of doing that. Bitching about Twilight is lame, people.
- Documentaries. Remember when we used to say “Man, I wish there were some rad documentaries about horror”? Well, there were a million of them this year, and all were watchable.
- The end of “Torture Porn”. This subgenre is nearly extinct. A Serbian Film is like the Kiss Me Deadly of torture porn. A nearly dead genre that goes out with a cinematic bang (literally).
- The rise of horror television (The Walking Dead, Dexter, True Blood, Supernatural, etc.)
2009 was a really great year for horror. We always like to point out on the Splattercast that our genre is so vibrant precisely because it is so varied. It’s the only genre where comedy can co-exist under the same umbrella as a grossout torture flick. 2009 delivered a plethora of above average to great films in all different permutations of horror. Paranormal Activity was the little indie film that could, garnering huge critical and commercial success while delivering genuine moments of terror…without blood and guts. If you love fun horror, Sam Raimi was there to give you a modern Tales from the Crypt story with Drag Me to Hell. If you were into harder edged foreign stuff, you got Martyrs. Kids got the wonderful Coraline. Vampire fans could sink their teeth into Thirst. Zombie fans actually got something original with Pontypool. Slasher fans got to enjoy My Bloody Valentine in throwback 3D . Chicks got Jennifer’s Body, and Grace. If artsy is your thing, Antichrist was your film. There were other outstanding films like
House of the Devil, Trick ‘r Treat, and many others. Horror television really hit its stride with Dexter and True Blood. And of course, who could forget Julianna Guill’s boobs? If you really think about it, 2009 spoiled a lot of horror fans. Even if you didn’t like many of the films, there was no denying that horror had something for everyone and on top of a bunch of really neat indie and foreign films, Hollywood actually brought something to the table. All around, it was good to be a horror fan in 2009. And naturally, everyone was excited to see what would blow our socks off in 2010…