I hadn’t bought a comic in close to 5 years. I’ve said this on the Splattercast before, but I used to be a huge comic collector. Then the industry just priced me out. $3-5 per title, per month was just more than I was willing to pay. So I just stopped. That doesn’t mean that I still don’t have a love for the medium, just that I’ve been totally out of sight, out of mind on anything related to comics for years. I happened to be in Grand Island this weekend at a store called Hastings, which is sort of like a Best Buy combined with a Barnes & Noble. Plus they sell all sorts of collectible action figures and stuff. Lots of cool junk in there. As I was wandering through the store I found something new that I didn’t realize they had: comic books.

There was a big rack full of new comics and as I was perusing I noticed Hellraiser #1. I opened it and in the first panel it said “Nebraska”. A Hellraiser story that takes place in my state? I was sold. Even with the $4 pricetag. It got better when I realized it was written by Clive Barker and is the first time he has tackled the Cenobites since the original movie. According to the publisher, the comic is considered Hellraiser canon and as you’d expect, the publisher was super excited to have gotten this deal. You can read a free 8 page prelude to issue #1 right here.

There are actually 2 different stories in issue #1. The first is the main story, by Barker. In it, Pinhead has become bored and disappointed with his role in “hell”. He’s just not getting off on ripping people up with chains anymore. He wants a new experience. So he goes to this scary piano that has skinned Cenobites attached to it telling the “mouthpiece of Oblivion” that he wants to invoke “the Accord”. Essentially, this turns Cenobites human and Pinhead wants the chance “to earn the salvation of heaven.” If he fails, he’ll be put back in hell, stripped of all his powers and rank, to burn forever. Pinhead’s motivation here is that he has “seen everything” that flesh has to offer. So he wants a “new experience” and he thinks he’ll succeed where other Cenobites who have attempted the same thing have failed.

Pinhead’s boredom comes about because there is a farmer dude in Nebraska who has been kidnapping people, dropping them into an underground well with the Lament Configuration, and forcing them to solve the puzzlebox. That allows Pinhead and the other Cenobites to pop up and do their chain shit. He then buries the skinned bodies in his cornfield which has a big Lament Configuration crop circle thing going on. In the meantime, we’re introduced once again to Kirsty Cotton (played by Ashley Laurence in the films). You don’t see much of her other than her naked body as she bangs her boyfriend and that she’s on a whole lotta medication and that she’s a painter. The issue ends with the farmer dropping off a letter in her mailbox. To be continued.

Overall, I dug the story, however brief it may have been. I thought the art was pleasant to look at and even though Barker’s writing gets a little hokey with his need to make a sex reference every other panel, I still imagined Doug Bradley’s voice and the aura of cool that comes with the Hellraiser mythology. At $4 though? Man, it’s tough for me to justify that. 22 pages of Barker for half the price of a movie ticket. I mean, it only takes about 5 minutes to read. I guess the fact that it’s Barker doing the writing and making a story in canon is the draw here. Pinhead wanting to be human, I can dig that. I might be willing to plunk down the money for a few more months to see where the story goes. Maybe it’ll capture me. I’ve included a page of the Barker story below so you can get an idea of the art style.

The second story in the issue is written by none other than Matrix guru Larry Wachowski. Honestly, the story is pretty stupid. I didn’t even understand it the first time I read it. It’s about some old dude who solves the puzzlebox and escapes hell. I don’t even know if it’s a Cenobite or just some generic looking monster, but this thing comes back for him. some group who knows about the puzzlebox tries to help him by cutting off his leg. His bone is a part of Leviathan…or something. I dunno what the hell this story is about or what it is trying to say. Lots of crap crammed into a few pages and I thought the art was ugly. It’s nice that they included this other story and there is a novelty factor of reading a Hellraiser story by Wachowski, but the story itself is pretty lame.

All in all, I wasn’t hating myself for buying this. I think the Barker story had an interesting opening and I’ll probably trek the few blocks down the street to Trade-a-Tape in order to pick up the next issue. I guess that’s a win for the comic. I don’t know how long I’ll stick with it, but I’ll try.

A review is out for the first issue of the X-Files / 30 Days of Night comic cross-over. You can check out the details at Fangoria or X-Files News.

Personally I’m really excited about this. Never really got into graphic novels, and didn’t even really read the X-Files ones that much, but I’m really looking forward to some new X-Files material. Perhaps I should watch 30 Days of Night first though…

As far as I know, there aren’t any X-Files people behind it, which could actually be refreshing. I gather the artists/writers involved are well-known in the comic field, but I was particularly interested to read that Adam Jones from the band Tool is involved in the writing. I like Tool, for the most part – although it does make me wonder if every sixth frame of the book will be just static or a picture of machinery spliced with an image of Bill Hicks. But I remain optimistic.

The only criticism I have is that there’s too much going on across too few pages. I’d like to see these characters get a little more space to breathe. On the whole, though, it’s a blast. It feels like its own thing, from its own time. The collected edition from Com.x Comics looks great and has some fun extras in the back of the book.

Synopsis: A sequence of events create a nexus that gives the death-bitch, Razorjack, and her twisted handmaidens the opportunity to finally break through into our world, the most important dimension of them all – the core dimension. Three college kids inadvertently create the opening from the alternate universe of the twist dimension and become a focus for the evil that is Razorjack. Maverick cops, Frame and Ross, are drawn into what could be the final battle between good and evil.

Created by John Higgins (artist on Judge Dredd (2000ad), The Hills Have Eyes (Fox Atomic), colorist on Watchmen and Killing Joke (DC Comics).

The free books available will probably vary from place to place, but I know that in years past, I’ve walked out with armloads of cool free stuff.

Or, hey, maybe I’m worked up over nothing and the movie’s actually good? I’m open to that possibility, but I’m really hesitant to spend the time/money on it this weekend.

A thoughtful, measured comment from this post at Topless Robot on the Wolvie movie:

I AM CONVINCED THAT THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO PLANET EARTH SINCE 9-11! YES IM COMPARING THIS TO A CHAOTIC TERRORIST ATTACK WHEN YOU RUIN BEAUTIFUL VIDEO GAMES AND AMAZING COMIC BOOKS. THAT IS EVIL. THAT IS TERORISIM

I’ve also read, again from TR, that there’s a (possible/variable) stinger after the credits that actually sets up a potentially more true-to-comic Deadpool. Maybe they put that in after they realized they had f*cked up?

SPOILER WARNING: io9 reports that one involves Stryker getting reprimanded for his evil ways, and an amnesiac Wolverine in a bar in Japan. You’ll like the second one — apparently (and this might not be true, so please don’t shit your pants) involves Wade Wilson, played by Ryan Reynolds, scouring the wreckage of the nuclear plant from the end of the film and finding the severed head of he bald/scarred/mouth-sewn-shut Deadpool/Weapon XI. Looks like the bitching worked! I think all you Deadpool fans will happily take a non-scarred Deadpool over a scarred one with swords coming out of his forearms. Also, I’d bet you anything that had the film not been leaked and Fox wasn’t desperate to get nerds in theaters, they would never have made this save.

Ah, who knows? I hate this sort of thing, where I don’t care and do care at the same time!

I recently heard one of the podcast dudes mention the Battle Royale manga. Apologies to my podcasting brethren, I don’t remember who it was… Drunken Zombie, maybe? Anyway, I’ve always loved the movie (here’s Mat’s review from ’05, by the way) and I always knew there was a manga version but I just never bothered to take a look. I think maybe it was shrinkwrapped on the store shelves, as some “mature” titles are, so I couldn’t browse it without buying it.

Tonight I’ve read through the first two volumes and I’m really digging it. The manga fleshes out each of the characters in a way that the feature-length movie just can’t. Highly recommended for fans of the movie.

Topless Robot has some heartbreaking info on the portrayal of Deadpool in the upcoming Wolverine movie. Say it ain’t so! Quoting their site (spoilers)…

• Ryan Reynolds shows up for 10 minutes in the beginning of the film. He’s part of Stryker’s team, and his mutant ability is mostly being a badass with swords, cutting bullets and the like. He is called Wade Wilson during this period.
• Stryker’s big plan (or one of ‘em) is to make Weapon XI, a mutant with a shit-ton of mutant powers.
• Stryker uses Wilson’s body as the mutant power receptacle, and because of the scarring (I’m not sure whether that’s from a previous fight, or as a result of all the mutant powers getting packed into him), Weapon XI is played by Scott Adkins. Weapon XI appears for about ten minutes near the film’s end, and has the claws seen above (a la Wolverine), Cyclops’ optic blast, Wraith’s teleportation ability, and Wolverine’s healing factor, too. Also, his mouth is indeed sewn shut.
• Just like Weapon X is given the name “Wolverine,” Weapon XI is given the name “Deadpool.”

So really, the only inaccuracies with the toys is that Hasbro is calling the Wade Wilson figure Deadpool too, although I can see why they’d rather put “Deadpool” on the packaging rather than “Wade.” So, guys… you can freak out and boycott Fox if you want, but please, stop pretending these are two separate characters. Now, it’s possible my source is inaccurate, but he’s given me ample evidence to believe him.

Mega disappointing. Deadpool is a big personal favorite of mine and it’s just a kick in the balls to see him treated this way. A comic-accurate Deadpool could carry his own feature film, easily. This take on the character, however, sounds like some fucking bullshit.

Topless Robot has some more good news/bad news info on Destro and Cobra Commander in the G.I. Joe movie. It’s a cool site, check it out.

I’ve expressed that the ending of the Watchmen movie disappointed me, but it could’ve been worse.

Hat-tip, Chris’s Invincible Super-Blog.