I cannot recommend Serbian Film to anyone. It is a movie that hard-core horror fans will be daring each other to endure for years to come. On an intellectual level, I think I can see and appreciate what it’s trying to do. But if I could unsee it, I would.

I have so much I could say; I was thinking about my little girl (she’s 4) and this picture she just drew for me. It’s me, and her and her little sister-to-be (my wife is due in about 2 months). In the picture, we’re all smiling and it’s just a cute little thing, you know? Typical thing a little kid would draw. She draws little cats and bunnies and fairies, etc. I’ve had this thought often: I love that this is what’s in her little head. Her mind is full of good things. Of course, you can’t shelter a kid forever; she’ll learn that sometimes some people are cruel and sometimes bad things happen and all that jazz. But mostly, it’s just bunnies and fairies right now. And that’s wonderful.

Now we, as adults, have a lot of control over what we put into our heads. I’m not saying horror movies are going to influence your behavior, like you’ll head over to the nearest summer camp and start chasing teens with a machete – I don’t really buy that at all. I am saying, though, that it just can’t be very good for your heart, mind or soul to watch some certain things. I mean, how can it be a net positive, in any way, to elect to put this into your head?

I’m not swearing off horror, of course not. However, I may spend the next few weeks reviewing my daughter’s Hello Kitty DVDs on the Splattercast, instead of whatever genre stuff we had on the docket.

I know it’s pretty lame to quote song lyrics on the internet, but the Bad Religion song, Marked, came to my mind:

if I’m a monster,
I am a willing one,
this roller coaster ride is an enticing one,
on the tip of a continuum flowing wavelike
through disorder carry me like a vessel to water

everything you see leaves a mark on your soul,
everything you feel leaves a mark on your soul,
everything you touch leaves a mark on your soul,
everything you make leaves a mark on your soul

if I can touch it,
I can destroy it,
if it’s imaginable to some degree,
I can become it,
like a hungry turning vortex that just flickers to existence,
consuming bits and pieces until I’m finally extinguished

everyone you see leaves a mark on your soul,
everyone you bare leaves a mark on your soul,
everyone you touch leaves a mark on your soul,
everyone you love leaves a mark on your soul

everything you take leaves a mark on your soul,
everything you give leaves a mark on your soul,
and all the fear and loneliness that’s impossible to control,
and every tear you cry leaves a mark on your soul

I love Fist of the North Star so I hope this game gets released outside of Japan (it comes out there this month). I did a quick search but couldn’t find a confirmation of any American release.

It reminds me of seeing a cool trailer for a PS2 Berserk game a few years ago. Berserk is another of my favorite anime/manga properties and, sadly, I don’t believe the PS2 game has ever been localized for us gaijin. I suppose I could import a Japanese copy and fight through the foreign menus and text but that doesn’t sound very appealing.

I don’t think I’ve done anything important or magnificent. I’m a worker, and the thing I prefer in my life is cinema. When I’m working in cinema, I’m happy. And that’s all, you know?

With that in mind, I’m going to keep my eye out for subtitles that even Deejay can enjoy. For example, here are a couple from the recent Japanese film, Grotesque. I have not altered these subtitles in any way.

Speaking of Grotesque, I just watched it and you can read my review here. I wanted to take a look at the film after Explodey Jo mentioned that it had been (effectively) banned in Britain. No surer way to evoke interest in a film than to ban it. I found this link that contains some information on the banning.

The British Board of Film Classification said giving the film a rating would involve a “risk of harm” to those viewing it.

The BBFC rejects films only rarely, preferring to give advice on cuts to achieve the preferred certificate.

BBFC director David Cooke said: “Unlike other recent torture-themed horror works, such as the Saw and Hostel series, Grotesque features minimal narrative or character development and presents the audience with little more than an unrelenting and escalating scenario of humiliation, brutality and sadism.

“The chief pleasure on offer seems to be in the spectacle of sadism (including sexual sadism) for its own sake.

“Rejecting a work outright is a serious matter and the board considered whether the issue could be dealt with through cuts.

“However, given the unacceptable content featured throughout, cutting the work is not a viable option in this case and the work is therefore refused a classification.”

Honestly, I think the BBFC is working against themselves by giving an invaluable promotional boost to a movie that, as I describe in my review, really isn’t that remarkable.

The wife chose Takashi Miike’s Sukiyaki Western Django to watch tonight. It’s a pretty weird movie, and it often slips its toe over the line into tedium, but I always stick through a Miike film. It’s basically a Japanese spaghetti western, with an all-Japanese cast speaking English through thick accents. I guess it’s sort of like Yojimbo and A Fistful of Dollars through the lens of Miike nutbaggery.

A while back some dudes on the forum were talking briefly about it. Mat gave it a C+, which is pretty fair. Recommended for Miike fans – but then, most Miike fans have probably already seen it.

Blimey.

Do you guys think this would make a good full length film? And more importantly, did you jump out of your seat at least once?