Prevention months and awareness weeks. These are bullshit. Know why? Because anything worth preventing or being aware of should be prevented or brought to the forefront every day, not just 7 to 31 of them during the year.

Case in point, April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month. Now it’s no secret that I despise children and think the vast majority of them should be cast into some horrible pit of doom, fire, pain, and/or (but preferably) death. But lets just pretend for a moment that it is wrong to push a small child down a flight of stairs, or come home from the bar and slap it around a little bit, or put a lit cigarette out in the palm of its hand when they mess up on their math homework (remember, for the sake of this argument, we’re just pretending all this is wrong). If that’s really wrong, then it should be wrong EVERYDAY. Not just during April. Every year, month, week, day, hour, minute, and second should be child abuse prevention whatever. Not just one month, not just one week.

Also, awareness weeks/months are just fucking retarded. Awareness is when you’re too much of a pussy to attempt to even prevent something. There’s an AIDS awareness week/month every year. What a load of shit. For one thing, everyone is AWARE that AIDS exists. And if for some reason someone doesn’t know, shoot them in the face. They were a moron anyway. Being aware of something is pointless. If anything needs prevention it is AIDS. An AIDS awareness time would only work if it were changed to “People With AIDS Need to Stop Fucking Other Humans Without AIDS, Otherwise a Mob Will Set Your Dick on Fire and/or Fill Your Vag-hole With Boiling Hot Bleach Where Applicable” Awareness Random Time Frame. A PWANtSFOHWAOaMWSYDoFa/oFYVWBHBWA Awareness Century would be awesome. Most of these awareness campaigns are useless anyways or tell people something they already know. I’m pretty sure July is National Kellogg’s Raisin Bran has two full scoops of raisins in every box awareness month in town here. Your July may vary however.

At some point, the really important causes (I’m no longer talking about child abuse) have to graduate from awareness to prevention.

Douches.

By the way, in March there’s actually a no swearing week in South Pasadena, CA. Fuck no swearing week.

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