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Be warned, spoilers ahead.

The Burning was one of the many films impounded in the UK in the early 1980s under the Obscene Publications Act, when the uncut version was “accidentally” released on VHS instead of the trimmed down version approved by the BBFC. The plot: kids at a summer camp play a prank on the creepy old caretaker, Cropsy. It goes horribly wrong, and he burns alive, leaving him horrifically scarred. Years later, he returns to seek revenge, stalking and preying upon unsuspecting precocious teens at a new summer camp.

Sound familiar? It should, because 1981′s The Burning began as a Friday 13th knock-off. One of the many films to imitate the famous slasher movie, before the genre began to fizzle out, The Burning was considered little more than a cheap cash-in. And it’s easy to see where the latter movie got most of its inspiration. However, I believe it surpasses its predecessor in every way.

For a start, Tom Savini really steps up the gore in this film. Despite the fact that the kills are limited to stabbings, slashings, and slicings with the same pair of garden shears, there are ample numbers of limbs lopped off and throats penetrated to satisfy. The titular burning scene is brutal to watch, and the climatic axe to the face is nothing short of spectacular. The infamous raft scene is also a sight for sore eyes.

The main thing that, for me, sets this apart from most other slashers, is the characters. At first glance these are cardboard cut outs, but they soon become fleshed out. The asshole jock is actually kind of sweet; the ‘funny’ guy is not only actually funny, but down to earth; the nerd is even brave and resourceful at the film’s end. There is no ‘slutty’ girl character, nor do we meet the traditional ‘final girl’ (and let’s face it, why would they hang out together anyway?)

At a certain point, when it is revealed there is a killer on the loose, the group fall about crying when they realise half of their friends have been killed. They build a raft and make it to safety. They call the police, and the police believe their story and actually show up without being dispatched by the traditionally much more wily killer. These factors added a sense of realism to the story which usually is left out, and hinders other movies. There was no point during The Burning where I shouted at the screen, “Don’t go in there!” or “You wouldn’t DO that!”

My only complaints about this movie would be the jarring score (which is a product of its time) and the Cropsy make up. Early in the movie we see a burnt arm, which looks fantastic, but when we later see his face, it looks rubbery and unrealistic. However it is only visible for a short time, and like the score, can be forgiven.

Like many of the other movies in this project of mine, this is not disturbing or ‘nasty’ in any way. But rather UNlike most of the films on the list, this was a joy to watch, and thoroughly recommend for any genre fans.

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My first exposure to the giallo sub-genre (and indeed to Dario Argento) was a pleasant surprise. Prosecuted and banned in the UK, it was finally released uncut here 20 years after its initial release.

I have to say, I found the first half of this movie somewhat dull. The story plods along rather slowly, the kills are initially few and far between, and not all that gory or interesting. But one thing this movie does deliver from the start is a great sense of intrigue. It is clear early on that this is essentially a murder mystery, and each character we are introduced to is a potential suspect. It really does keep the audience guessing, as each time you think “Oh that MUST be the killer…” they are instantly dispatched. While not much seemed to be going on, this element alone is enough to maintain your interest.

The last 20 minutes of the film is where we see what we really want from a giallo. The gore steps up from mere stabbings and strangulations to axes in heads and bodily dismemberment. The famous arm-cut-off scene with the rainbow of blood spraying across a blank white wall is just as gorgeous as it sounds.

One staple of the giallo is that the unseen killer is a character present from the start of the film, and not a Scooby Doo-esque character we would never have guessed. Tenebrae runs out of characters by the time the killer is revealed, so it does not come as much of a shock, but Argento follows it up with a worthy twist that, although completly nonsensical, is great fun. There is a wonderful moment of foreshadowing involving what I assume is a piece of art, made up of a series of metallic cones.

There are erotic undertones, but the nudity does not feel gratuitous. Rather, it adds to the themes of sexual abberance and deviance, which I can only guess was heavy contributing factor in its being banned upon release. This film builds slowly, and really delivers a satisfying bloody crescendo. But none of this is disturbing or upsetting; in fact quite the opposite. Somehow these scenes of beautiful women being butchered are stunning to look at. I can only speculate at this stage in my Argento-education, but I would say this is certainly the work of an artistic master.

Amateur Porn Star Killer this is not.

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a.k.a. The Beast (UK), and The Grim Reaper (USA)

This was reviewed on an early Splattercast (Episode #2 in fact) so there’s not a great deal left to say, except to reiterate that this film is fucking shit.

Best quote: in the ‘origins’ flashback, the Beast wants to eat his dead son, telling his mother, “He’s meat now!”

Anthropophagus is nothing more than a waste of a good title. I have nothing else to say.

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It’s nice to review a good movie for this list; I wasn’t sure there would be one!

Shogun Assassin, I’m sure you know, is an edited down version of the first two movies in the Lone Wolf And Cub series. The basic plot follows Lone Wolf, who was the Shogun’s ‘decapitator’. The Shogun has become paranoid and senile, and believing Lone Wolf to be a threat, attempts to assassinate him, killing his wife in the process. Lone Wolf begins a journey to avenge his wife, killing all the would-be assassins the Shogun throws in his path, and taking with him his young son.

In terms of the violence, the first half of this movie is pretty much a sequence of somewhat cool fight scenes, which only suffer slightly from the choreography and editing of the era. We see lots of stabbing and dismembering, all resulting in fountains of blood we would later see in Kill Bill. Having not grown up in the seventies, it’s kind of odd to have watched something like Kill Bill and then going back to see where all the ideas came from. While pretty gory, the fights aren’t really all that graphic or realistic, and the blood is that orangey colour which make it look even less convincing. But the ridiculousness doesn’t detract from the fun at all. And not even in a ‘so bad it’s good’ way – it’s just good

I would be extremely interested to check out the Lone Wolf and Cub movies now. Part of me wondered whether they had removed the ‘boring’ dialogue heavy parts of the original movies, leaving mainly the fights. But I also recently found out that the other 4 movies in the series have been repackaged and resold as 4 sequels to Shogun Assassin which strikes me as incredibly cheeky, similar to the zombie movies of the 70s I guess.

There’s nothing I found all that disturbing about this movie, except maybe the synthesised score. One thing that struck me is the presence of the young boy in almost every fight scene. I don’t have a problem with children in horror movies (a discussion topic for later) but I could not believe the child’s parents would allow the filmmakers to shave his head in such a way, that has to be seen to be believed. All in all, nothing really ‘nasty’ about this movie, but nevertheless recommended.

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It soon became apparent that the three or four movies on the video nasties list that I had seen already, are probably the most well-known, and widely considered to be ‘disturbing’ controversial horror movies. So as to not blow my proverbial load too soon, I am trying to stagger them and throw in some mediocrity to mix them up, which sadly means I have to wait for LoveFilm to dispatch those I have yet to see. (Un)Fortunately, it was not long before 1974′s (or 1977′s, depending on the web site) Axe arrived in the post, and mediocrity did indeed ensue.

The plot of Axe (a.k.a. Lisa Lisa) is most likely that of half the films on the list; three no-good criminals are hiding from the law, and decide to stay in an isolated farmhouse, occupied only by shy young Lisa, and her paralysed grandfather. They take advantage, and are disposed of.

First off, these are the least threatening criminals in movie history. The opening scene involves them beating a guy to death (we can’t even make out why because they mumble too much), and one of them uses a child’s doll to do so. Later they call into a convenience store and terrorise the shop girl by throwing fruit at her and making obscene comments such as, “Lady sure has some nice melons… I’ll bet she’s got some nice melons of her own!”

It’s not long before they take up residence at Lisa’s house, to which Lisa puts up absolutely no resistence. After an attempted rape, she begins to off the intruders, but only kills one of them with the titular axe. I don’t expect anyone to watch this movie, so have no qualms in revealing that the first guy is killed with a razorblade (ok so he gets chopped up afterwards), the second is killed with an axe, and the third (the ‘nice’ one who was against all this the whole time, incidentally potrayed by the director) is shot by police at the end, in a poor attempt at irony.

The film does have some merit, and actually the character of Lisa was the best thing about this, and could even be considered ‘hot sauce’. She is what my boyfriend and I refer to as an ‘X-Files kid’, in that she does little but sit and stare, which takes very little acting ability. At the beginning of the film she beheads a chicken (off camera), and we see a close-up of the bloody axe; when your film is titled ‘Axe’, this foreshadowing is a tad unnecessary! There was a rather nice scene where Lisa eats cookies and milk, which is contrasted with the decapitated chicken bleeding into the kitchen sink behind her. There was also a rather neat bathroom clean-up scene, which I like to think was a nod to Psycho, but maybe that’s giving this movie too much credit.

Overall, this is not a very well made film at all, and even at a mere 68 minutes it feels overly long and drawn out. Every technical aspect of this film is done badly, and frankly it is a boring piece of work. It feels like the kind of film that was born out of the desire to make a shocking horror movie, and the plot followed from there. It made its merry way onto ‘the list’ purely on the basis of its storyline; nobody that’s seen this could find it anything other than dull. Mary Whitehouse saw to it that this film got the slightest publicity, which is more than it deserves.

I’m giving it 2 wheelchair-bound grandfathers ouf of 10. In no way does it deserve to be labelled a Video Nasty.

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