Reviews Database

Complete reviews list | Back to main site

Movie Review


Directed by Brian Dannelly
Reviewed by Brady, added on Jan 1 2005

This movie pokes a lot of fun at hard core Christians but comes up with a pretty good message by the end. The movie stars Mandy Moore as Hilary Faye. She's a perfect little Christian in every way, at least in every way that she thinks is right. She's a stuck up bitch who throws tantrums if she doesn't get her way. Her brother, Roland, is played by Macaulay Culkin who does an excellent job as a crippled kid who's sort of bad and doesn't really believe in God anymore. He's also really funny and may have been my favorite part of this movie. He falls for bad girl Cassandra played by Eva Amurri and they're relationship is actually pretty touching.

Jena Malone plays Mary, she's not the brightest cookie but she tries really hard to do what she thinks Jesus would want her to do. When she finds out that her boyfriend is gay she has a vision of Jesus telling her to help her boyfriend to not be gay. So she thinks the best way to do this is to have sex with him. He promptly gets sent away to a Christian help center for gays, unwed mother, and other people that good Christians don't want to deal with so they just send it away or cover it up. Mary is part of Hilary Faye's group of do-gooders called the Christian Jewels. Really they're just a bunch of girls that rich and spoiled Hilary Faye pushes around while doing "God's work". When Mary finds out she's pregnant she has a crisis of faith and is immediatly rejected by Hilary Faye.

Mary tries to hide the fact that she is pregnant but Roland and Cassandra see her leaving Planned Parenthood. Mary ends up befriending the two because of her secret. This pisses off Hilary Faye, who has been trying to save Cassandra's immortal soul. Since she can't save Cassandra and Mary won't be a good little christian anymore, she tries to just get rid of the whole problem by trying to get them expelled from their Christian school. She finally succeeds by spray painting graffiti all over the front of the school and then hiding the cans in Cassandra and Mary's lockers.

All through the movie the principal/pastor is having an affair with Mary's mom. When it comes out that Mary is pregnant he thinks God is punishing him for cheating on his wife. So to solve the problem he thinks they should send Mary away to the rehabilitation center. The principla/pastor has a son named Patrick played by Patrick Fugit. Patrick is in love with Mary but doesn't know she's pregnant. He spends most of the movie trying to get her to feel the same way. Mary sneaks out of the house because Roland and Cassandra ask her to. She finds them dressed in tuxedos and holding a dress for her ready to go to the prom. Patrick shows up in a limo and he doesn't care that she's pregnant. They go to the dance and mayhem begins when it comes out that Hilary Faye was the one that painted the school. The excitement convieniantly sends Mary in to labor.

At the end of the movie the boyfriend, the father, the father's gay lover, Cassandra, Roland, Mary's mother, and the principal/pastor are all together and they all discover it's better to deal with the things in your life instead of just trying to hide it away. Overall the movie was pretty good. Some of the characters seemed a little too extreme or just conviantly there to do certain things. Also the message was a little bit heavy handed. I wouldn't recommend buying it but if you can't find anything else to rent on a friday night I suggest this movie. Also Roland's wheel chair dance rocks.

5 / 10

Think we're right on? Think we're full of crap? Tell us about it in our forum.

© The Dead Lantern Crew