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Game Review

Predator: Concrete Jungle

Developed by Eurocom Entertainment (2005)
Reviewed by Steve, added on Aug 16 2005

Point of interest: I only played this game up to its second level. The reason for this? I just couldnít stomach anymore of it.

This game slid in under my radar. Usually I try to keep up to date on upcoming video game news, but the first time I ever heard of this game was when my brain alerted me to its presence at Blockbuster. I never saw any commercials for it, and the only reviews Iíve seen for on G4 and in magazines came out a good month after I had already played it. There are two possible reasons for this.

1) I live in Grand Island, NE, home of absolutely nothing of value, where nothing interesting ever happens, so itís very possible that any advertising completely bypassed me here.

2) The company who released it figured the less the public saw of the game, the more business it would see.

Having played it now, Iím guessing #2 is the more plausible choice.

Simply put, this games sucks. As neat as the Predator is, itís just impossible to have fun playing as him when he has the shittiest controls imaginable. I dare anyone who has the nerve to play this game to make three precise jumps in a row. Hell I dare you to make three precise anythings in a row in this game. You get all of the cool ďvisionsĒ, infra-red and night, and even a cool electronic vision which lets you pick up cloaked targets. Why does the Predator need a special vision to pick up cloaked targets when he already has infra-red? Because the humans in the game have the same cloaking technology that the Predator does. Iíll talk more about that when I get to how shitty the story is. Anyways, while all of the different visions are cool, you have to constantly switch between them for certain targets which is cumbersome enough, however the game developers obviously donít like the gameís potential audience so they hit you with this next problem. Each vision type has different controls which are only useful for certain enemies, many different types of which attack you at the same time all the while the camera keeps trying to show you how poorly rendered the roof of the building youíre fighting in front of is instead of letting you know which direction the bad guys are attacking from. Goddamn just thinking about this game is giving me a headache. But oh thereís a bright spot in all of this. Or at least it was bright before I actually managed to access it. At one point in the game Iím told to grab a thug and take him to a highlighted point on the map to skin him. Yes. SKIN HIM. ďHoly shit!Ē I said when I read those words on my screen. So I grab a thug and drag him to the highlighted point and sit back to watch the fruits of my labor. So then the Predator makes some stabbing motions at the camera and then you hear a ripping sound. Lame. What a let down.

Okay, okay, I know what youíre thinking. If the game play is that shitty then it must have an amazing story to offset it right? Well sure, the story is kind of neat...just so long as you donít mind wiping your ass with everything the Predator stands for. Everyone whoís anyone knows that predators only kill worthy opponents or people who attack them first. Itís considered dishonorable to attack the unworthy. So as soon as you begin this game youíre treated to a scene where the star of this game tears ass through 1930ís Chicago, out in the open with no attempt at stealth killing and mutilating cops, mobsters, and innocent civilians alike. To top it off, your Predator is a dumbass and leaves a lot of his little gadgets behind. Which brings me to the basic story. Your Predator gets banished for 100 years for being a retard and for some reason I have yet to figure out is then sent back to Earth to destroy or retrieve his stolen weaponry which has been reproduced in mass quantities. Now itís up to you to take your horribly control formatted death machine onto the streets of the future only to be killed by nearly every bad guy you come across because the camera wonít allow you to actually see anything thatís going on.

And thatís about it. Like I said, I only made it to level 2 of this game so it is possible it gets much better beginning with level 3. Possible, however unlikely seeing as for it to get better the game would need a new control scheme, new story, a camera with the ability to focus on the fucking Predator, voice acting that doesnít make you piss yourself laughing, random nudity, and some sort of payoff for completing a mission. Well I guess there is a little payoff. If you get enough points you can dress up your Predator in a tutu or baseball cap. Fucking woot. File this game under decent premise, terrible execution.

So much wasted potential.

2 / 10

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