Directed by Dave McKean (2005)
Reviewed by Steve, added on Feb 15 2006
Dear valued reader, I DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR OPINIONS. IF YOU DON’T AGREE WITH MY REVIEW THEN YOU CAN NIBBLE MY SACK. Thank you, drive through.
If the words “Dance, Magic Dance” bring back fond memories to you, then you’ll probably like this movie. Neil Gaiman, Dave McKean, and the Jim Henson Company have teamed to bring to life an insanely imaginative, if not confusing, movie full of....giant fornicating people-like things who float in the air and talk like the Ents from Lord of the Rings, and....unicorn-monkey hybrids, and....a black slime puking evil queen....
Holy shit, what the fuck kind of movie did I just watch?
The above statement is what I imagine a lot of people will think after seeing this movie. But if you can get into it you’ll find yourself engrossed in a world where the world of light is being invaded by the world of shadows and now young Helena is plucked from her ho-hum circus life to come and save the day. And it’s a world I would like to see her save. The scenery feels right out of a comic book and the story is so far fetched it would have a nice home in one as well. The CGI seems deliberately cartoonish which fits well with the film. The crazy masked characters of this alternate world work well with the bevy of CGI cats, sphinxes, and.... giant fornicating people-like things who float in the air and talk like the Ents from Lord of the Rings. The characters in the movie, with the exception of Helena, are given very little backstory which does little to hinder the movie since you’ll spend most of the time wondering what the hell is going regardless of who’s face is on screen. But all of the characters including Helena are given all that they need to be important to the story. And those that aren’t central to the movies events are given their small parts to play and then move on. Which is good because the less you try to comprehend all at once, the better. Did I mention there are giant fornicating people-like things who float in the air and talk like the Ents from Lord of the Rings?
If you’re anything like me you’ll probably spend a lot of time thinking to yourself how interesting some of these ideas are yet how simple they seem to be once you think about it, the best example to me being “The Really Useful Book”. Great idea, but it seems like anyone should have been able to come up with that. That’s this film’s main flaw. I don’t really know any other way to say it. Once you think about it for a while the wonder seems to wear off. Rapidly. Make no mistake, I really enjoyed this movie. It’s just not worth owning. Rent it. A few nights ago when I first saw it I probably would have given it an 8.5 or maybe even a 9. You know, I should probably just end the review now before I deduct anymore.