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Movie Review

Masters of Horror (Season 2): We All Scream For Ice Cream

Directed by Tom Holland (2007)
Reviewed by MaT, added on Jan 12 2007


I enjoy Tom Holland. The man who directed Fright Night and Child's Play steps up to the exepectations of being labeled a "Master of Horror" to direct an episode about a killer clown/ice cream truck driver. Like I said, I enjoy Tom Holland. I love both Fright Night and Child's Play and I consider both of them classic 80's horror films. Hell, I even like Thinner and the handful of Tales from the Crypt episodes he directed. I was looking forward to him getting back to directing. I did not, in any way shape or form, enjoy We All Scream For Ice Cream.

There isn't much story to this episode. Basically, a group of friends are being killed off in a small town; melting into puddles of ice cream and blood. Turns out, this group of friends killed a mentally handicapped ice cream truck driver named Buster (William Forsythe), who also happens to dress like a clown, when they were kids. Now, years later, they are all adults with children of their own. Buster is back and out for revenge, coming to their homes in the middle of the night and giving their kids ice cream in their shapes. When their kids take a bite, people start melting into ice cream....

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This episode sucked. Not only is it boring, but the acting is horrible. The only redeeming thing of interest is Buster, who looks really damn scary in his "Demon Clown" makeup (Brady, don't watch this). Other than that, the deaths are lame (almost none are shown in any detail with the exception of one character) and the acting causes more laughs than scares. Since nothing really happens for the majority of the running time, the episode just drags and drags. Hell, Holland doesn't even give a gratuitious sex scene, opting to cut straight to the aftermath to get to a really lame flashback sequence that essentially reveals nothing in the grand scheme of things. To make matters worse (Spoilers coming, not that it would matter since spoiling the ending is probably a blessing) the end battle involves the lead character (Lee Tergesen of Oz fame) spraying the killer clown with a garden hose to...wait for it...freeze him. Then his kid eats a "homemade" ice cream caricature of the killer clown, causing him to dissolve.

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Have you regained your intelligence yet?

I'll say it again: This episode sucks. The best thing about it was the preview for next week's episode which is Stuart Gordon's The Black Cat starring Jeffrey Combs as Edgar Allen Poe. See, that last sentence was already for more interesting than this entire review.

1.5 / 10

Comments from Steve...
I was really curious to see how you reviewed this. This is only the second MoH ep I've watched. Now I know why I've skipped the vast majority of them.

Oddly enough the Clint Howard Ice Cream Man movie was on last night. Yay Clint Howard!

I take it Brady is afraid of clowns. Our next movie should have a clown badguy.

Comments from Steve...
I forgot to mention that this movie has one of the lamest jokes I've ever heard. I actually wenced at this. Layne tells his wife to leave her secretary glasses on right before he bangs her because he wants her to take a "dick-tation". Get it? Its like "dictation" with "dick"!

*shudder*




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