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Movie Review

Stupid Teenagers Must Die!

Directed by Jeff C. Smith (2006)
Reviewed by MaT, added on Apr 23 2007

Stupid Teenagers Must Die! is an unabashed throw-back to 80's horror cheese. The premise is simple: a bunch of teenage steretypes (the jock, geeks, bubbleheaded blondes, etc.) converge at an old house where the legendary Murder McGee butchered his entire family. The token goth girl decides to hold a s´┐Żance, complete with ouija board, but before they try to get in touch with the spirit of McGee, people start being hacked to pieces. Can our group of cliched characters figure out what's going on before they become the next victim of McGee's madness?

I suspect strongly that if I ever met the director of this film, Jeff C. Smith, we'd probably become great friends. Stupid Teenagers... is the feature length equivalent to A Ripper Runs Through It. This film revels in its love for the 80's and through the course of its short 76 minute running time, you'll be bombarded with over-acting, breasts, recycled slasher conventions, and some hilarious dialogue. The tagline for this movie is "Excessive violence, gratuitous nudity, zero budget" and for the most part the film tries to hit those lofty goals. The film certainly looks like it had zero budget. There's some cringe-worthy lighting, many dialogue shots are in one continuous take, and the audio is gets pretty brutal in spots (when you think someone is going to scream, be sure to turn your TV way down). But all of that is to be expected. After all, if you're advertising that you didn't spend any money on your movie, an intelligent filmgoer will understand the expectations going in. You can't really hold that against them.

The gore is much tamer than I thought it would be. It's certainly not excessive and there are only a few actual deaths in the flick, but what was there was appreciated. I liked the back story of Murder McGee and would really be interested in seeing a film based on that. The "gratuitous nudity" is provided by a pair of horny lesbians and the bubbleheaded blonde (I read that the actress won "Best Breasts" at a recent film festival). The highlights of the film are definitely the pair of geeks, in specific Geek One played by Cory Assink. This guy was absolutely hilarious and immeditately ratcheted up the cheese and fun factor whenever he was on screen. The writing is smart, the actors are pretty good and the 80's nods brought multiple smiles to my face.

I think I liked this movie because it reminded me so much of my own experiences making these types of movies. There were so many shots and scenarios that brought back great memories to me that I couldn't help but have a lot of fun with Stupid Teenagers.... The only thing that really got on my nerves was the constant use of hand-held cameras (liberal use of a tripod would have been wise) but for what it is, the film works well and you can tell everyone had a good time making it. That spirit that comes through can make up for a lot of technical deficiencies and that's certainly the case in this film.

If you aren't an elitist bastard (or if you are but can shut that side of you off for 90 minutes at a time) and really have a passion for no-budget movies, you'll find much to like about Stupid Teenagers Must Die!. A fun homage that puts 80's horror on it's proper awesome pedestal and delivers a smattering of blood, boobs, and comedy that will make even the most jaded horror elitists smile. Recommended.

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7 / 10

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