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Movie Review

Home Sweet Home

Directed by Netie Pena (1981)
Reviewed by MaT, added on Jan 7 2008

I had read somewhere that Home Sweet Home was a Thanksgiving slasher film and had a bunch of z-level celebrities before they got famous and even director/producer Don Edmonds, of Ilsa, She-Wolf of the S.S. fame (and, oddly, a co-producer on True Romance?!) in a lead acting role. This sounded real promising. In fact, it was so promising, that Netflix sent me the movie a couple weeks ago straight from somewhere on the east coast. I popped the movie in and was sort of befuddled. The movie I was watching didn't seem like a slasher film, but rather a dull British comedy. I checked the sleeve and it excitedly promoted a "slaughterhouse" and an "escaped mental patient". I tried watching the film again and got suspicious. Turns out, the retards at Netflix sent me another movie called Home Sweet Home, which is directed by Mike Leigh, whose imdb page doesn't list it anywhere. Confused yet? I sure was. Once I reported to Netflix that they sent me the wrong movie in the wrong sleeve, it took another week and a half to get the right film (this time, it was sent from the west coast). Finally, I got to see Home Sweet Home....

...and I curse myself for whatever made me want to watch this garbage. I usually use paragraph 2 of my reviews to outline the plot of a film. I can usually make it fairly lengthy, thus making it appear that I've written a lot when in reality, I haven't. In the case of Home Sweet Home, I can sum up the plot as follows: A muscle-head on PCP boringly kills stupid characters at an isolated house.

That's it. It's the most basic plot ever. The flick starts out with some dude sitting in a car. He's immediately killed by Jake Steinfeld (if you don't know who this is, he's the "Body By Jake" guy) who then injects PCP into his tongue. He shows up, randomly, at some isolated house and spends the majority of the film hiding behind trees and watching people until he suddenly jumps at them like a spring-heeled Jack while laughing like the Joker (I'm not kidding). In the credits, he's called "The Killer" because they never name him. Not even when the reporter on the radio is telling everybody that he escaped a mental asylum and they should watch out for him.

So anyways, he shows up at this isolated house and starts killing people. Now, I'm not even sure what this place was. One of the characters says he lives in an "apartment" upstairs, but it's really just a big house. The cast of characters includes a Mexican girl who can't speak english, a douchebag wearing mime makeup and playing electric guitar with his backpack amp in an obnoxious fashion, a little girl who grew up to be this girl (you may remember her from the Hills Have Eyes remake), and a boatload of greasy looking dudes with porno mustaches (including Don Edmonds). One by one, they all wander off by themselves and are picked off by "The Killer". As for the Thanksgiving theme, I don't even remember any of the characters mentioning the holiday. I'm assuming that because they were preparing for a party, and cooked a huge ass turkey, that it means Thanksgiving. But honestly, I have no idea.

This film can go screw itself. It's incredibly boring and slow paced, there is barely any gore (almost everything in the film I've included in these screenshots), the killer is ridiculous, and the direction is the definition of amateur (thankfully, Netie Pena disappeared from the filmmaking scene after this flick. I can only assume that the Film Gods stuck him on a boulder somewhere for a vulture to eat his liver day after day). I won't even begin to dismantle the "script" or "acting", which are non-existant. It's absolutely brutally goddamn awful.

The only thing that gives this movie a point on our ten point scale is the sheer weirdness of it. When you see Jake Steinfeld giggling like a schoolgirl while throwing his full body into an elbow drop on a car hood, thus killing a character who was trying to steal a battery, and then immediately bouncing away like a damn rabbit...well, that's just weird enough to warrant some props. Watch this only if you are a masochist for cinematic punishment.

1 / 10

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