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Movie Review

Killer Pussy

Directed by Takao Nakano (2004)
Reviewed by MaT, added on Mar 18 2008


NOTE: This review will contain screenshots that are NSFW. You've been warned.

I love the Japanese. They have, in my estimation, some of the most consistently bizarre cinema, especially when it comes to the horror genre. Some people say their cinematic oddness is a response to a long tradition of conservative values and filmmakers are just "acting out" against those values. Some people blame the atomic bombs for drastically altering their artistic expressions. Others think they just have an odd sense of entertainment. Whatever the reason, a lot of sexual and violent horror cinema has come out of Japan, often tinged with an air of bizarreness that is, frankly, quite absurd on many levels. That being said, just cuz a movie is weird doesn't mean that it is any good. Too often, Japanese cinema relies too strongly on the "strange factor" with nary any substance. Case in point: Killer Pussy. Which is infinitely more entertaining than something like Killer Condom, but as you'll see, that doesn't mean much...



This flick runs a grand total of 60 minutes and has the flimsiest of plots: the flick opens with a team of researchers in the Amazon basin coming across a Japanese witch doctor (seriously) who warns them that the creature they discovered is bad news. The creature? A parasite with lots of sharp teeth that resides inside a woman's vagina and feeds on dick. A van full of teens breaks down and comes across an abandoned building and unwittingly releases the parasite amongst themselves. David Cronenberg would be proud. On second thought, he probably wouldn't.



From the very beginning the film makes it quite obvious that it shouldn't be taken seriously at all. It's shot on a camcorder and looks like something anybody could make during a free weekend and a few porn stars at your disposal. The film is chock full of over-the-top performances not grounded in any realism whatsoever. The overacting in this film makes Dudley Manlove look away in disgust. The script ain't any better. "I'll put a cheap fish on your dinner table as quick as possible!" is the best you get, referring to one of the first scenes in the film as a researcher mourns his dead wife.



Other stuff that sucks? Well, the score is grossly out of place. At one point towards the end, a Japanese guy is listening to some Mexican mariachi music (in Spanish...which is just odd) and the rest of the film consists of random poorly composed stock music that sounds like it was written by some 12 year old kid in his parents' basement. It's bad and doesn't fit anything. Continuing the trend of SUCK is the godawful FX work. The parasite looks like a piece of rubber doused in Karo. The fake limbs and intestines look like they were made of plastic and garden hose, respectively. It also doesn't help that the film is stuffed with the worst CG effects you'll see in your entire life. The whole production looks like it was made for about $3.87 plus the cost of whatever blow jobs the filmmakers got from the cast.



Now, if you're reading a review about a film called Killer Pussy you want to know about nudity. Well, if naked Japanese girls is your thang, then the film will fill your quota for at least 45 minutes. Every woman in the movie, literally, gets completely naked and either has sex or their bodies are oiled up and rubbed down. Director Nakano enjoys filming extreme closeups of hands groping DD breasts...and filming them...and filming them... Of course, this is Japanese, meaning that any shots of actual bush or vag are forbidden so you'll get the obligatory blurring out of any naughty bits. Which probably explains why they glue the parasite to the woman.



Is there anything good about Killer Pussy? Well, yeah. If your mind works on the same level as Splattercast host Deejay (and if it does, you need to see someone about that, immediately), you'll probably think this is the greatest 60 minutes in movie history. It's pretty much nothing more than a terribly made movie that knows its bad and doesn't care. It's hard to review something like Killer Pussy because on one hand, it's a giant piece of crap. On the other hand, there are probably a lot of people out there who would really get a kick out of the sheer zaniness. And for the naked Japanese girls. At the very least, there's a curiosity factor that can't be denied. But I'm not Deejay. And my rating will reflect that beautiful fact accordingly.

1 / 10




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