DeadLantern.com Reviews Database

Complete reviews list | Back to main site

Movie Review

The Guyver

Directed by
Reviewed by Steve, added on Jan 1 2005


First off, I shit you not about this movie being directed by "Screaming Mad" George. That's actually what this guy is credited as in the credits and on the cover box.

The Guyver is an American made live action movie based on a (highly recommended) Japanese Anime Superhero created by Yoshiki Takaya. What is the Guyver you ask? Very simple grasshopper. The Guyver is an alien suit of armor, one of the most powerful weapons in the universe. Its being sought out by an evil race of half alien, half human monsters called the Zoanoids. All of the Zoanoids work for a company called the Cronos Corporation, which is run by the diabolical..ummmmmm..six-legged-minotaur-looking-bad-guy-thing, also known as Balcus, played by David Gale.

Anyways, a human who was turned into a Zoanoid against his will has stolen the Guyver unit from Cronos and fled with it. Along the way he is horribly, horribly killed by other Zoanoids. But not before hiding the Guyver unit in a lunch box. Now the Zoanoids, not being the smartest bunch, pick up the carrying case they believe to contain the Guyver and promptly return to Cronos. Where the big mean six-legged minotaur guy promptly uses his bizarre red third eye ball to torture his lead Zoanoid for bringing back an old busted up toaster.

Meanwhile, a college student taking karate lessons gets his ass handed to him by some local thugs. Things aren't going so well for our hero until he stumbles upon, you guessed it, a lunch box containing the Guyver unit. Our hero kicks the arses of all those present, and leaves to travel into an amazingly predictable movie.

I have to admit, ten years ago when I first saw this movie it really impressed me. Unfortunately it has not aged well. All of the monsters amount to nothing more than a bunch of B-movie actors running around in rubber Halloween costumes. The Guyver, however, looks very good. Armor plated and insect looking, he somehow became my favorite superhero and has stayed that way for many years now. Despite all its flaws I still love watching it even after all this time. It has lots of comedy (even if unintentional at times), passable fight scenes, an homage to Jaws, and dozens of cameos. One said cameo has Re-animator legend Jeffrey Combs playing a Zoanoid.

The box says "part human, part alien, pure superpower". Very true. It also says "watch out Batman, move over Superman, a new superhero has arrived". Not so much. But while its certainly not that caliber, the movie has a strange pull to it. I watch it, and I know its bad, and I know there are tons and tons of better movies out there. But the bottom line is, I wouldn't trade this crapfest for anything. Besides, where else can you watch Mark Hamill turn into a giant cockroach?

8 / 10




Think we're right on? Think we're full of crap? Tell us about it in our forum.

© The Dead Lantern Crew